An Update on Dodge City Beef

A while back, I mentioned Dodge City Beef on this blog. At that time, they had just opened up a retail store at 11115 Johnson Drive in Shawnee, and they carried a line of responsibly raised beef from their family ranch in Kansas.



It's a year later, and the store has done quite well.

For starters, they carry an even wider array of beef. Their filet mignon, sirloins, and ground beef (over 90% lean!) have been joined by harder-to-find cuts like flank and skirt steak, along with at least 3 types of roasts. For the 'cue enthusiasts, they get a regular supply of briskets now too, though I would recommend calling ahead if it's any time near a major competition.

Also of interest is that they have taken on the products of other local ranchers with similar practices. They now carry whole chickens and a variety of pork including thick-cut chops, bacon, and shoulder. On my last visit, they even had some ground bison.

The chicken, pork, and bison come from neighboring ranches, so they are not supplied quite as often. If you're looking for something in particular, it's best to call in advance to make sure it's in stock. Heidi, who runs the store, is always willing to set something aside for you.

We buy all of our beef from there because we like the quality and knowing where our food comes from. If you're interested in that sort of thing, I'm sure you'll like their products as well.

They're open from Tuesday-Saturday, and their number is 913-499-0204. You can also like them on Facebook to be notified of special events and deals.

Kansas City and The United States of Tara

When we switched TV providers last year, one of the promos was the inclusion 3 months of HBO and Showtime for free.

It worked. We got hooked on shows from both networks.

We've been catching up on The United States of Tara ahead of its 3rd season premiere next Monday.



The show is about a suburban family of four. The wife (Tara) suffers from Disassociative Identity Disorder, which you probably know better as Multiple Personality Disorder.

There are at least 6 "alters" that have been introduced, each of which brings some semblance of levity, comic relief, or discomfort to the show's other characters.

One of the most striking things to me is that fact that the show is set in Overland Park. And the references are spot-on, both in terms of Kansas City and the Johnson County/suburban dynamic.

For example:

-The husband gets arrested, and the cops tell Tara that they're taking him to the County Jail over in Olathe.

-A creepy 27-year-old starts dating the teenage daughter, and he offers to buy her "a loft...in the Crossroads District."

-The teenage son (who is gay) and a friend drive to a park. The experienced friend wants to show the son how to cruise for sex. In an obvious reference to Penn Valley/Liberty Memorial, the son says, "Yeah, I've been there plenty of times, but just for school. You know it's the only dedicated World War I Museum in the country?"

-After Tara and the husband argue, the teenage son says he's keeping the house in the event of a divorce. He adds that he can't change schools because "Shawnee North has gangs."

(This one is especially true-to-life: when the Shawnee Mission School Board was going through their redistricting plans back in September, some students at one of the elementary schools that feeds SM Northwest High School were going to be reassigned to Shawnee Mission North. Parents went apeshit, going so far as to claim their property values would decline by 20% and ultimately cost the district money. It's funny because they're using typical suburban denial in lieu of admitting the real reason: more poor and minority students go to SM North, and that's scary to them.)

In trying to figure out how this came to be, I found an old article from Aaron Barnhart:

"We have someone working on the show who's from Overland Park, Kansas," said [show co-creator Diablo] Cody. "She said that everyone out there hangs out at the Ken-Taco-Hut."

That someone, Lindsey Allen-Springer, is the manager of development at DreamWorks TV, which is producing "United States of Tara" for Showtime. It was DreamWorks co-founder Steven Spielberg's idea for a comedy about a woman with DID, or dissociative identity disorder, that Cody developed into this series. Allen-Springer, originally of Olathe, is a 2002 graduate of K-State.

So there you go. If you have a chance, check out the show. It is alternately hilarious and heartbreaking, and always interesting.

How To Turn Someone Into a Control Freak

1. Promise a person you'll take care of something important.

2. Don't take care of said important thing.

Drunken Fish Sushi: A Detailed Account

A group of seven of us got together last night for a friend’s birthday dinner. The spot selected was Drunken Fish, the new outpost of the St. Louis-based trendy sushi restaurant. It’s located in the Power & Light District.

First, the opinion portion of the review:

The sushi was underwhelming. There was nothing wrong with it, but there was also nothing memorable about it. It’s probably a 4 on a 10-point scale.

It didn’t help that the wasabi was nearly flavorless and without heat. That is, except for one person’s plate; we sampled his green stuff and it had an almost-acceptable horseradish kick. I ate a huge glob of mine straight, and it was less pungent than fresh-ground black pepper. When we pointed out this discrepancy, our waitress explained that it depends on how much you mix into your soy sauce, as if we couldn’t comprehend the concept of dilution.

It was somewhat expensive, but probably not out of line with what you’d expect to pay at an establishment in your favorite KCMO-taxpayer-subsidized district.

The atmosphere was pretty noisy, and I think that’s by design. Places with drinks called the “Asian Fetish” and “Dirty Kimono” typically aren’t known for being relaxing. And that’s fine—it is what it is.

Now, the timetable portion of the review:

7:35pm We were seated.

7:40pm Drinks were ordered.

7:58pm Drinks were finally received.

8:05pm Our food order was finally taken.

8:30pm My blood sugar tumbles into negative integers and I become very crabby.

8:30:01pm My wife asks about our food.

8:35pm Our waitress says our food is on its way.

8:43pm A manager apologizes for our wait (finally) and says our food is on its way.

8:50pm Our waitress says our food is being plated and will be right out.

8:57pm Food finally arrives. We devour it quickly, thanks to hunger and our desire to get the hell out. Yeah…read on.

9:15pm We request our checks.

9:22pm We receive a round of Key Lime Pie shots from the manager as an apology. Um…okay, thanks, but we’re trying to leave.

9:31pm A birthday dessert is brought out for us to share. Thanks, but really? Now?

9:36pm Now it gets really bizarre. The waitress brings out COMMENT CARDS and jokes that you can use them to say “how awesome she was”. NOW she apologizes for everything taking so long, and this is their “soft opening”, and look over there—the general manager is making sushi, and we should come back for happy hour and their grand opening and all this other stuff. Also at this time, she delivers our checks, which we shove our cards in and immediately hand back.

9:51pm We are finally cashed out.

The first two timestamps are approximate within a few minutes (I had no reason to check my watch at that time). Everything else is actual time.

Really. Just check the intervals between some of those items and consider how long they really are.

A couple more things:

-“Soft opening” is bullshit. According to the Pitch's Fat City blog, they opened their doors 3 weeks ago. Also, this is the 4th Drunken Fish location—not some first-time restaurateur’s maiden voyage. They should be way better than this.

-Our waitress, while certainly not unpleasant, was somewhat…I think “tone-deaf” is the word. She never apologized during our painful wait for nourishment. Instead, after we sat foodless for quite some time (it was sometime after my blood sugar crash) she came over and asked how everyone was doing as if we were in the middle of our meal. Then the comment cards came out, and joking that we should say she was awesome when we clearly wanted to leave??? What would have been awesome would be to get our checks. There was just no empathy whatsoever; it was rather obvious that we hadn’t had a good experience and wanted to leave but she just never saw that.

-The staff was nice enough and meant well. The manager giving us shots wasn’t really what I wanted (especially at the time he gave them to us), but he was at least trying. And the water guy kept my glass full all night.

Bottom line? I was already a bit wary of a place whose spokesperson says, “It’s not just about eating sushi. It’s about the experience.” When the pedestrian Japanese fare is the best part of the “experience”, you’ve got a hell of a lot of work to do.

Apple in This Economy

Immediately below an article about how badly an extra quarter per gallon of gas will hurt the economy, I saw news that Apple sold close to 1 million iPad2s on the tablet's debut weekend.

The most stunning thing about the article is that 60% of these toys, which cost anywhere from $499 to $829, were bought by people WHO ALREADY OWN A 1st GENERATION iPAD.

These were released at similar prices LESS THAN A YEAR AGO.

Look, I think I have a pretty balanced attitude toward Apple products. They're well-designed, stylish, and capable machines.

They're also very expensive. My laptop (i5 processor, 500 GB hard drive, 4 GB RAM) cost the same as the LOWEST-PRICED iPad.

I'm really stunned that this many people are shelling out this kind of scratch for something that does some really cool things, but is an absolutely unnecessary indulgence for 95% of the people who buy it.

What stuns me even more is that Apple fanboys/fangirls will just lap up every new release that comes their way, never questioning why the company they revere intentionally withholds features and technology so they can get in their wallets all the more frequently.

The Southwest Rapid Rewards Kerfuffle

Earlier this week, Southwest Airlines announced changes to their popular loyalty/frequent flyer program, Rapid Rewards.

Based on the comments on their Facebook thread, it appears people are PISSED.

Here's how it used to work: Fly a one-way segment--any segment, whether it's Tampa-Seattle or KC-St. Louis--earn one credit. Get 16 credits, earn a free flight.

In other words, any 8 round trips within a two-year window earned you a free flight to and from any Southwest destination. They had rental car and hotel partners too (1/2 credit per stay/rental).

Under the new system, you earn points based on how much you spend. Similarly, the points can be redeemed like cash toward flights. It's just like a hotel rewards program. The cheaper the flight, the fewer points you earn (and the fewer points it costs).

People are not happy.

Here's my list of reasons, followed by why I think their consternation is misplaced:

1. They don't understand the rules. 'Nuff said. Kneejerk anger for the sake of anger.

2. They think they've changed the rules to make it much more difficult to earn a flight. This is a little true, but not worthy of outrage. On a dollar-for-dollar basis, it now takes 10 roundtrip flights to earn an equivalent free flight (instead of 8). Note I said "equivalent". That means you can't shuttle from Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale 8 times, then earn a free round trip to Portland, OR. You shuttle 10 times, then get your 11th shuttle (or equivalent) free.

Plus, your points never expire under the new system. A lot more people will be able to eventually earn a free flight now.

And by the way - at one point, I was traveling 3+ times a month for work. Granted, most of that was on Southwest, but to this day I have NEVER earned a ticket on another carrier. I don't see how a leisure traveler ever could do so.

3. They think they've drawn up the point structure to benefit business travelers. So what? Leisure travelers fail to recognize this: if people didn't travel for business, air travel as you know it would not exist. Period. So spare them your resentment. Businesspeople, especially those who frequently have to pay through the nose for short-notice fares, subsidize that $89 seat you bought to Las Vegas. And while you associate the airport with fun places like Sin City, they associate it with yet another week of being away from their family while they visit a construction site in Birmingham, AL. They are the only reason there are so many flights available at those fares. Forgive Southwest if they're trying to build loyalty with those who spend the most.

Here's the real reason for the anger.

They think Southwest has sold out.

Southwest has traditionally served smaller, regional airports like Dallas Love Field instead of DFW, and destinations like Louisville, KY instead of Boston, MA. Well, guess what? They serve Boston directly now. They're back in San Francisco, and they have a presence at NY LaGuardia and Newark--all expensive places. They're not the little airline that could anymore. They're a huge carrier, and the most profitable by far of US airlines. As recently as 5 years ago, they were the closest thing to a "populist" airline as there was: no first class, no preferential treatment, no option to pay more and get more.

Not anymore.

You can pay extra for "Business Select", which gets you on the plane first to avoid the cattle call (and gets you a free drink and extra rewards points).

You can pay $10 extra to upgrade to the "A" group.

Rewards flights, which used to be valid as long as there was a seat available on the plane, can only be used on flights that are less than half-full at the time of booking. Also, I think people are pissed that they can't use $800 worth of cheapass roundtrips to earn a transcontinental flight, even though that policy was kinda ridiculous for Southwest to even offer. You can't stay 10 nights at a Motel 6 to earn a free night at the Four Seasons, for crissakes.

And their fares? Not really all that cheap anymore when you compare them to others.

Yes, bags still fly free. And yes, their people are more laid back/fun/friendly than those on your average legacy character.

But everyday people are pissed because they thought Southwest was THEIR airline, on THEIR side.

Nope. Things done changed.

Why I'd Be Calling You From Jail

I'm a law-abiding citizen. A "standup guy", if you will.

My worst legal transgression is my habit of driving 5-7 mph over the speed limit.

I know what you're thinking: a real wild man, this guy. *eyeroll*

Well, I am what I am, and right now I'm an adult with a wife, a mortgage, a job, and a retirement account.

In other words, I've got shit to lose. Even if I have a stupid impulse (and these are more and more rare as I age), it only takes me a moment to consider the negative consequences of acting on it. Impulse purged.

Unless...something gets in the way of that purge. I don't worry about peer pressure, lust, any of that stuff.

Nope. I know myself pretty well, and the only thing that worries me is that someone will just royally piss me off / get my goat / push my buttons.

And I will pummel him.

Mind you, a single act is never enough to get me that angry. I will always present an opportunity to defuse the situation. Even a modicum of remorse, humanity, or explanation is enough to talk me down.

What am I getting at?

Today, I spent my lunch hour at Oak Park Mall shopping. As I left the mall, I noticed a car one aisle over swing into the parking spaces a bit aggressively.

Sure enough, the car pulled all the way through about 5 feet in front of me without looking.

I'm glad I saw it coming; even so, I had to slam on my brakes to avoid a collision. I laid on my horn as well. Yeah, I was kinda pissed. It was a really damn close call.

However, the whole thing could have been over quickly. If he had raised his hand and waved or given any acknowledgment whatsoever that could be construed as "my bad", I would have waved back, calmed down, and the situation would have been over.

Recognition. Apology. No escalation. Done.

The next best option would have been what usually happens in this type of scenario: Driver is embarrassed by own incompetence, puts head down, and hightails it away hoping no eye contact will happen.

No acknowledgment, so I would have stewed on it for a few minutes (again, it was really close) but I would have been over it by the time I sat through a traffic signal.

But no.

Bastard flipped ME off.

And I about lost it.

YOU messed up. YOU don't get to flip ME off!

My mind danced with visions of the furious beating I dreamed of laying on this asswipe. That middle finger of his was emboldened by the false sense of security his car provided.

After realizing that I was still right behind him, he got scared, cut through another gap in the parking lot, and ran a stop sign.

Right in front of a Sheriff's vehicle. He was pulled over immediately.

This isn't the first time karma has been repaid so swiftly. That calmed me down pretty quickly.

And I like to think that in any situation I'll calm down, no matter what fingers are raised, no matter what words are spoken.

But I acknowledge that one day, someone might say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and a lesson will be taught.

I doubt this will ever happen. But if you ever get a call from jail, and it's me on the other end of the line, just know that something like this will probably be the reason why.

Bar Dating: Where to Drink in NoJoCo

One of the few downsides to life in NoJoCo is the dearth of good bars.

Most drinking establishments in the area are either unintimidating dive bars or sterile sports bars. There isn’t much to distinguish between one place and the next.

Therefore, my wife and I turned a critical eye to some local establishments through a series of "bar dates" in the hopes of finding a decent place to get a drink.

We needed some criteria for judgment.

-Obviously, location is important. Anything more than 10 minutes away, we might as well go to Westport to drink at the bars we already know we like. The closer, the better.

-Jackass clientele is a big hurdle to overcome anytime you’re drinking in JoCo; in fact, it’s generally the biggest hurdle. You’re very likely to be surrounded by preening fauxhawks, loud assholes in frathats (chewing on cigars if they’re outside), or 'woo girls' whose every inane statement is inflected like a question. It can be rough.

We judged ambience as the vibe of the place after extracting the clientele. Music, noise level, and the feeling we got from the place in general. Highly subjective, but like most people we know when we’re in a place where we're comfortable.

Service matters! Friendliness and attentiveness go a long way.

Finally, beer is our drink of choice. We don’t drink Bud Light (or the ubiquitous Boulevard Wheat, for that matter). Having at least a few beers we really like is vital.

(Food was not a factor; we have plenty of places nearby where we like to eat.)

All categories are rated from 1 (lousy) to 5 (excellent).

The Other Place – Downtown Overland Park

Sterile sports bar. Utterly average and vaguely pleasant all the way around. Lots of TVs and an interactive trivia game. Quite a few beers on tap, but few of any real interest – I think 1554, Sam Adams Octoberfest, and Guinness were my top 3. A bit far from our house to become a regular spot.

Location 2, Clientele 2.5, Beer Selection 3, Ambience 2.5, Service 2

Total = 12
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Maloney’s – Downtown Overland Park

With the spacious patio, they were considerably busier than the Other Place due to the pleasant weather the night we visited. Not a great beer selection, though they did have Tank 7 on tap. Pretty friggin’ douchetastic on the people front. Service was very friendly, though they appeared to be understaffed the night I was there.

Location 2, Clientele 2, Beer Selection 2.5, Ambience 3, Service 3.5

Total = 13
---------------------------
Birdie’s – 75th and Antioch

Dated but comfortable décor, with lots of brass and old-school bar stools. A slightly older, more modest, well-behaved group of people having drinks. Bartender was super-friendly and took great care of us. Not a lot of beers, but I was impressed that they had the Boulevard seasonal and porter on tap (along with wheat and pale). Can’t really complain about this place.

Location 3, Clientele 4, Beer Selection 3, Ambience 4, Service 4.5

Total = 18.5
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Barley’s Brewhouse – 435 and Midland Drive

When we sit on the restaurant side, we’re always pleased with our experience. But if we’re going for a drink, we sit on the bar side, and that’s where the problems start. Make no mistake - it’s a nice place, the servers generally know their stuff, and they have an elite beer selection. But damn if I don’t end up aggravated every time I’m there. Whether it’s the 50-something couple whose makeout-induced spittle almost landed on my shoulder or the assholes who just finished 18 at the muni on the other side of highway who are harrassing the waitress and jostling our table, the people who drink there just piss me off. That and the fact that it is almost as long a drive as the Foundry means we only go here if we’re eating.

Location 1, Clientele 1, Beer Selection 5, Ambience 4, Service 4

Total = 15
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Bilski’s – Johnson Drive and Merriam Drive

Nondescript little dive. Its best quality is its location, since it’s about a mile from our house. They have Boulevard Stout on tap in addition to Pale and Wheat, and that’s about it. The epitome of the unintimidating dive. Hardly anyone in there during our visits (early evening), so it was difficult to judge clientele.

Location 5, Clientele 3, Beer Selection 2, Ambience 3, Service 3

Total = 16
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The Pour House – 74th and Nieman

Jesus Christ, what a trainwreck. Dark bar, lots of black paint. Patrons yelling at the top of their lungs and pounding on tables, and the staff is okay with it. Bartender didn’t look at us for close to 10 minutes despite sitting at a table next to the bar. Waitress finally approached and said, “How are you?” When I responded with a smile, “Fine, how are you,” she sighed/smirked/expressed her utter displeasure before grunting “fine” as if I’d asked her to clean my toilet. We ordered Pale Ales, a fallback beer for me (and a last resort for my wife). The server went outside, took others’ orders, and forgot about us. After another wait, we told her we had to leave, and we left without having a drink. Thank god, because karaoke was about to start. I’m pissed that I even have to technically give them the location points.

Location 3, Clientele 1, Beer Selection 1, Ambience 1, Service 0

Total = 6
--------------------------
Aftershock – 53rd and Merriam Drive

As much performance venue as bar; we later found out it was the headquarters of the KC Rockabilly Society. However, they had an indie rock show that night in the form of one of those battle of the bands scams where the promoter (not the venue in this case) makes all the entrants sell a certain number of expensive tickets in the hopes of loading the crowd. The bouncer didn’t make us pay because we were just there for a drink and the show was almost over. The band we saw was pretty damn good though, and we thought maybe we had found something great: a place to see music with non-pretentious people, the shows don’t start super late, and it’s a mile from our house.

As the night progressed, we made some realizations. One, all they had to drink (for us) was Guinness. Two, it doesn’t appear they’re open unless there’s a show. Three, by the end of the night, we discovered a large number of those non-pretentious people…were underage. In some cases, like high school age (they apparently have all-ages shows rather frequently). Which really made me feel betrayed, because there’s a covenant between me and a bar: if the bar attracts good-looking people in revealing clothes, I get to observe guilt-free so long as I’m not an ass about it. Now every time I see this in any bar, the first thought through my head is, “Is she 17 or 22?” ‘Cause I damn sure can’t tell the difference. Sigh.

Location 5, Clientele 4 2, Beer Selection 1.5, Ambience 4, Service 3

Total = 17.5 15.5
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Waxy O’Shea’s Irish Pub – 63rd and Quivira

There is no singular stellar aspect to this place, but everything is above average. Good bartenders, a few beers on tap that we would actually drink, not far from the house, bonus points for regularly having people 55+ enjoying a pint or two, bonus points for having Bob Reeder and other Irish acts from time to time. It looks like a suburban chain restaurant from the outside (which it was in a previous life) but inside is cozy and welcoming. Until we try a couple more places on our list, this is likely our go-to place for a nearby drink.

Location 4, Clientele 4, Beer Selection 3.5, Ambience 4, Service 4

Total = 19.5

Where else should we try?

Property Taxes: KCK v Merriam

Last week I got my property tax statements.

Yes, that’s “statements”, plural.

Before my wife and I purchased our little slice of heaven in Merriam, I bought a vacant, mostly wooded lot on the WyCo side of the county line. We thought we wanted to build, but we came to some realizations.

First, it would cost a lot more than an existing house. Second, every single person we know who has gone through building a house said it bordered on nightmarish. And HOLY CRAP were there a lot of existing houses for sale.

We ended up with a house we really like, and in retrospect there are even more reasons that building a contemporary home on that lot was better left to our imaginations.

Practically speaking, the lot wasn’t all that great. In the full foliage of summer, the highway noise emanating from the junction of interstates 35 and 635 was a bit muted and the bright lights of the public storage facility behind the lot were shaded from view. In the winter, not so much.

We would have had way too nice a house for the area. This is a commentary on the area, not a commentary on our lavish lifestyle and tastes.

And then…there are those property tax statements I mentioned.

The mill levy in Merriam – that’s the sum of all the taxing jurisdictions, including city, county, schools, JuCo, etc. – is 118.2210.

In the Turner School District (where the vacant lot is located), it’s 177.8620.

Bottom line? The tax rate is 50% higher there than in Merriam. (It trumps northern Overland Park by more than 70%).

To put it another way: a $150,000 house in KCK has roughly the same monthly payment as a $170,000 house in Merriam once you factor in the property taxes.

KCK is still fighting an uphill battle. The tax base has continued to erode in two ways, as people continue to move away (albeit more slowly than before), and their property values took much more severe hit than most areas during this downturn.

I feel for my hometown, but not as much as I did when I lived there.

I don't feel so great when "it's not my problem anymore" runs through my mind. It doesn't stop me from thinking it, though.

George W. Bush on CBS Sunday Morning

Our Sunday morning routine usually involves watching CBS Sunday Morning and reading the paper.

This week's episode included an interview between president George W. Bush and Jim Axelrod, which you can watch here.

On the sickening feeling he got when there were no WMDs:

"Well, because, sickening is the fact that so many people felt that that was the only reason we went in to liberate Iraq," he replied.

"So in a way, the case became undermined, and it frankly, the failure to find weapons of mass destruction let Saddam off the hook."

"Then once it was shown that there were no WMDs, didn't it undermine the legitimacy of the U.S. invading?" Axelrod asked.

"Well, you know, that's part of the problem. You know, in some people's minds, they said, 'Wait a minute, if this is the main part of the case, we made a mistake,'" Mr. Bush said.

"I don't think, I don't agree with that," he chuckled. "I, I think that the liberation of Iraq not only makes America more secure, it gives 25 million people the chance to live in a free society. And that free society, over time, will have a transformative effect in the Middle East."

"And so the liberation, in your view, justifies everything."

"Well, I think, in my view, what justifies everything is the removal of a threat," President Bush said. "[In] other words, the decision to leave him in power, and my judgment, would've been a decision that could've created enormous chaos in the world. Now, as one could envision a nuclear arms race between Saddam and Iran, and then they'd have been saying, 'Wait a minute - the failure to act created enormous stress.'"

On Katrina:

When asked why Katrina was one event where he took too long to decide, President Bush said, "I got caught up in the legal system. [it's] not an excuse. I'm just giving you the facts. And that's the purpose - "

"But you're the President of the United States," Axelrod said.

"No, I know. But that, the purpose of the book is to show you the decision-making process. And in this case, it, in order to send troops into New Orleans, the law says that the governor must declare an emergency and request [them], or I have to declare an insurrection.

"In retrospect, now, knowing what I know today, which is, you know, it's not exactly what you get to do when you're sitting there, I would've sent in troops a lot quicker."

"There was a common feeling that after Katrina, you could never fully regain the trust of the American people," Axelrod said. "Did you feel Katrina was a fork in the road for your Presidency?"

"I felt Katrina was a part of a very difficult period for my presidency," Mr. Bush chuckled. "[in] other words, I said, 'Let's reform Social Security,' and a Republican Congress didn't. Iraq was very difficult in '06. And Katrina was just a part of a narrative that, that, you know, began to undermine me personally with some of the public, a lot of the public for that matter."