JJS in KCK

Basic Essentials Classes 101

2011-08-25T16:21:00.004-05:00

If you were to take a class named Wine Essentials, with the following description...

Whether you are just discovering wine or an enthusiast who needs a refresher course, our Wine Essentials Course will provide you with the building blocks. You will learn the five S's of wine tasting as you explore 8 different wines. This class focuses on the 'classic' grapes, where they grow and why they grow there.

...what would you expect the class to entail? How advanced would you expect it to be?

How about a class named Smoking 101?

Maybe my reading comprehension needs work, but I thought it was a safe assumption that these classes would be geared toward beginners who are looking to be eased into the intimidating worlds of wine and barbecue.
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We took the “Wine Essentials” class recently at Cellar Rat, which is a nice store in the Crossroads with a good selection. Those who read this blog know I’m more a beer guy, but I do enjoy a good wine and have always enjoyed visiting this shop. They go out of their way to be enthusiastic and not pretentious about wine. They organize their store by price: the entire center section is wines under $25, while the more expensive bottles line the walls.

We and seven others sat down for the class. There was a group of 3--a set of parents and their daughter--down the table. The mom gleefully explained that the daughter was an architecture student and had just turned 21, and they wanted to set her off on the right foot. The mother also explained that they had drunk wine all over the world, but had never taken a formal class.

Oh boy.

The instructor was a friendly guy in his late 20s who started by giving us a brief history of wine. He then explained a technique for tasting wine, using the five ‘S’s – see, swirl, smell, sip, savor.

For the first wine, he asked us questions, like “What do you see?” Someone said “it’s really light,” and a comment from our resident experts was something to the effect that the color was normal for a Riesling.

When someone asked if we should rinse our glasses for the next round of wines, our experts piped in before our instructor, “No! No, you should never rinse your wine glass with water. There’s chlorine in water.”

Later, when the instructor asked what scents we picked up in one of the wines, the response was a sigh, a faraway gaze, and a longing “Napa Valley!” Never mind that it was a French wine…

The question of how to taste that first little sip that the waiter pours in a restaurant came up. The instructor mentioned that the cork is not presented to smell, and before he could finish our experts said, in unison, “No! You don’t smell it, you squeeze it to make sure it's wet,” with requisite hand gestures.

The daughter, who at 21 possesses more self awareness than her parents, hit her dad on the arm and said, “Let the instructor answer!”

We also got the story of how the sommelier at 40 Sardines (the former Leawood hotspot owned by Michael Smith and Debbie Gold pre-divorce) was their FAVORITE, and the sommelier was so good and knew them by name, and when they ate at Michael Smith they asked what happened to the sommelier, and Michael Smith said, “He’s right up the street! He opened his own shop!”, and she walked in and he was so happy to see them, and he remembered us and walked right over to pick up some of their best “buttery” Chardonnays because he knows exactly what she likes, and we just let him pick our wines because he’s so good…

The class itself was great, as was the instructor. Just...don’t be those people.

(Favorite line from the instructor: People say the most obnoxious things about wine. "Oh, it's fruity and precocious!" You know what? YOU'RE fruity and precocious.)

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My wife and I were excited to take the smoking class a while back at the KC Culinary Institute. I had received a “starter” smoker for Christmas, and we both wanted to learn more about using it. We arrived there on a cold, rainy day ready to learn. As an introduction, the instructor asked how many of us were brand new to smoking. Only a few of us raised our hands. We found most of the class had been smoking for years, then he asked whether there were any COMPETITION TEAMS in the class. At least 10 people raised their hands, and they represented at least 3 separate groups.

Again: Competition teams. IN. SMOKING. 101. WTF???

Unfortunately, this meant the class moved way too fast. The basics were sloughed over in favor of more advanced techniques, even when we and the few other neophytes tried to slow it down with questions. It felt like the instructors were trying to show off for the barbecue nerds who were drooling over them instead of teaching those of us who hadn’t dropped a grand on a Traeger fully automated pellet smoker.

Now, I don’t deny the instructors’ knowledge whatsoever. They knew their stuff, and the main instructor is a published author, decorated BBQ cook, and professional chef. I also don’t deny that I learned some stuff, even if much of it went over my head.

I simply deny that this was at all a class for beginners, and should not have been billed as such.

My favorite parts:

1. We were asked what the best barbecue in town was. Someone said Oklahoma Joe’s. Get this – the instructor said NO. Pointed at the next person. NO. The next. NO. After about 6 of these, he said Danny Edwards. Hands down the best barbecue in town. I like Danny Edwards. It’s not the best barbecue in town. And don’t be an asshole and tell me I’m wrong.

2. After the class, we tried to ask a question on how to adapt some of the techniques for use on our basic electric smoker. We were basically scoffed at and told it would do a nice job “perfuming” our meat, but we’d best upgrade our equipment if we really want to do this. Well, maybe part of taking a class called SMOKING 101 was figuring out if we “really want to do this,” jerk.

Oh, and for the record: taking that class cost us more than TWICE as much our ~~meat perfuming machine~~ smoker which, as it turns out, makes really good meat with real smoke rings and everything.
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Taking any “adult education” class is something of a leap of faith. It’s rare that there are meaningful reviews that one can consult in deciding what is or is not a good value. But let’s agree to stick to these rules of thumb:

1. If you call your class “basics”, “essentials”, “101”, etc. you should teach it as such, and you should definitely not condescend to the very people who took it for that very reason.

2. If you are a fairly knowledgeable person (or god forbid an expert) regarding the subject matter being taught, and choose to take a “basics” class anyway, you will shut your mouth and not come off like a pompous know-it-all ass.

The Old Neighborhood, Pt. 1

2011-08-10T10:42:00.011-05:00

Saturday, I watched Gran Torino for the first time. I know; I’m a bit behind on my flicks.

If you haven’t seen it, Clint Eastwood plays a growling, bitter, bigoted, recently widowed veteran of the Korean War. He lives defiantly in his longtime home as the neighborhood around him falls into blight and becomes an incubator for gangs of all ethnicities.

Sunday, I went to my parents’ house to celebrate my brother’s birthday. While the old neighborhood has not declined to a Gran Torino*-esque level, the movie made me a bit more aware of the signs of decay than usual. It has certainly seen better days.

*Incidentally, my parents' first car that I can actually remember was a 1975 Gran Torino. It was white, with leg-burning dark blue vinyl seats. It was also adorned with a "George Brett for President" bumper sticker, distributed during his MVP-winning 1980 season when he hit .390.

Most neighborhoods, when transitioning from "working class/blue collar" to "poor", display common visual attributes. The old guard--generally long-term resident, empty nest couples in their 50s or older--still keep up their properties:

The old guard knows, deep down, that the neighborhood is going to shit. But just as people can ignore--or really, rationalize--the two nuisance pounds they gain every year, they do the same with the slow, gradual decay happening around them:

It's easy for the old guard to ignore a house like this (the rotting siding and unkempt yard look worse in person than in this picture). It keeps them sane, keeps them rooted in place, keeps them from ruminating on the herculean task of relocating all the possessions and memories accumulated over a lifetime.

Then you see this, which shockingly was occupied (as of last month, at least):

Each of these houses is less than 1/2 block from one another.

For me, distance equals perspective. I hadn't driven down most of these side streets in well over a decade, and it really opened my eyes. The places where I used to happily ride my bike were now...seedy. A little creepy. And more than a little sad.

The baseball fields where I spent countless summer nights as a player and spectator have been abandoned for years, victims of hard times and a general decline in baseball interest among urban kids:

This photo is a bit of a non sequitur; I just found it funny and appropriate to see a "watch for pedestrians" sign on a narrow street that, like nearly all KCK streets, has no sidewalk.

Just down the street is a strip mall that has been dying since I was 10. Among other things, it housed a TG&Y when I was young, where I'd buy cheap blank cassette tapes and baseball cards. Now the only activity is at Family Dollar and the tiny liquor store. There's also a health food store that appears occupied, but mostly it's just empty, vandalized space:

Demographics in the area dictate that when there is new construction, instead of a half-decent grocery store, it's a Dollar General (sorry for the blur). For the 7 things you can't get at the aforementioned Family Dollar, naturally:

I'll post a few more later...

P90X: An Epilogue

2011-07-25T14:46:00.006-05:00

After my wife and I realized that our gym was a) getting boring, and b) kind of a dump, we decided to give something else a try.

Enter P90X.

My guess is that everyone has at least heard of the fitness program; I’d wager that most people who regularly stay up past 11pm have taken in some portion of their ubiquitous infomercial.

The basic gist is that you are to diligently follow the workout and meal plans (or, in P90X parlance, “bring it”) for 3 months. After this time, they promise, you'll be ripped, shredded, and altogether awesome.

The program appealed to us because they weren’t selling some BS, spend-45-minutes-a-week-in-your-basement path to fitness. There was no CGI showing how a $999 machine (12 easy payments!) made your abs red (working HARD!) instead of blue (not working!).

P90X has a much more honest approach: work really hard, push “play” every day, and you will get into great shape.

So we took the plunge, determined to follow the program as strictly as we could. Below are my semi-organized thoughts.

First Things First:
This program is no joke. It is HARD. You will be sore as hell for the first week or two. You have to really want to do it; otherwise, you’re wasting your money. Also, look at the “Fit Test” online to see if you’re ready to do the program. I thought I was in okay shape, but I barely passed some of their minimum qualifications for the program.

Equipment:
We bought the DVDs and literature on eBay (around $80). We bought a pull-up bar ($37) and a set of heavy-duty resistance bands ($70) on Amazon. We bought a yoga mat at Target ($10). We already had one yoga mat and a set of 15 lb. and 20 lb. dumbbells. Total cost was about $200, or 5 months of gym fees. Not exactly cheap, but we’ll never have to buy any of that stuff again.

The Workouts:
P90X comes with 12 workout DVDs. There are 5 resistance workouts (4 upper body, 1 lower body); 4 cardio workouts (kenpo/martial arts, plyometrics, core synergistics, and a generic one they suggest for when you don’t feel like REALLY working out); yoga; an ab workout; and a stretching routine.

The Program:
If you follow the workouts strictly, you’ll be going at it 6 days a week. My wife and I did over 90% of the workouts as scheduled, which required quite a lot of planning, discipline, and coordination. The workouts alternate between resistance and cardio for three weeks, followed by a slightly less intense 4th week. Then, the two upper body workouts are swapped for two different upper body workouts for a month; the final month alternates the two programs.

The workouts are, again, HARD. Our first workout was plyometrics (jump training), and I was winded after the warm-ups. I made it halfway through before I had to quit because I was tempting death.

Here’s something that will rule out P90X for a lot of people: it takes a LOT of time. If you follow the program strictly, here’s what a typical week would look like…

Monday – Chest and Back (60 min), Ab Ripper (15 min)
Tuesday – Plyometrics (60 min)
Wednesday – Arms and Shoulders (60 min) Ab Ripper (15)
Thursday – Kenpo (60 min)
Friday – Legs and Back (60 min), Ab Ripper (15)
Saturday – Yoga (90 min)
TOTAL: 7 hr, 15 min per week

It’s a lot. It can be a drag, especially toward the end. We did almost all of this, but usually the additional 15 minute ab workout is what fell by the wayside. To be honest, we have both admitted that we wouldn't have made it through if the other person hadn't been there for support, encouragement, and accountability. Also, knowing there was a finite 90-day timetable made it more bearable.

The Meal Plan:
Before starting the program, they had us calculate how many calories we’d need based on our weight and activity level. My calculations indicated that I would need to eat well over 3,000 calories a day, including some 12 oz. of lean meat every night for dinner. If I had a personal chef, I would have been glad to oblige. Instead, getting home and finishing our workouts after 7pm some nights meant we ate what we could. The recipes and such actually looked pretty good; I just can’t eat at 8:30 every night.

As it was, I followed a careful diet for the first 8 weeks of the program. I ate lean meats, nothing fried, lots of vegetables, extra protein. I stayed very close to the ingredients they listed in the plan. In two months, I had zero burgers, one order of fries, and two slices of pizza. I even limited my beer intake to about 2 a week. For me, this dietary discipline is as impressive as sticking to a workout plan 6 days a week for 3 months.

I also abandoned the diet after 8 weeks. Why? See below.

The Results:
Let’s be honest: most people get into working out to lose weight. If that is your goal, P90X is NOT the workout for you. After 8 weeks--and eating fewer calories than the program suggested—I weighed exactly the same as when I started. My wife GAINED a couple pounds. It was a little frustrating in that sense, because even though you know you’re improving your health it’s easy to get hung up on that number. It was really frustrating for my wife, because she wasn’t looking to add muscle.

And—here’s the positive part--we both added a lot of muscle. My biceps now have stretch marks. Women who work with my wife ask in awe if they can touch her arms. I can see actual ab muscles, even if they’re somewhat obscured by my something-less-than-flat midsection. After walking by a mirror at home, we sometimes have to stop because we see a new calf or shoulder muscle that we’ve never noticed before.

From a fitness standpoint, I in the best overall shape of my life...at almost 36 years old. I nearly tripled the number of pushups I could do at the beginning. I went from being unable to do a pullup to being able to do sets of 8, partially healing a bum shoulder in the process.

Most surprising? I feel FAST. This is totally new to me. In my first softball doubleheader this summer, I was on 1st base and a teammate was on 2nd. On a base hit to the gap, I nearly caught him at home. It’s unreal. I feel like a damn gazelle.

So what now? I took a few weeks off from the madness to get my bearings. Last week I did a couple of the weight workouts to ease me back into things, though the heat has made it difficult to find the energy to do anything at full intensity.

However, I do think I will be doing at least some of these workouts on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future. No more 6-night-a-week madness, but something. There are enough different workouts to keep it interesting, and I worked too hard to let myself regress completely.

Questions about our experience with P90X? Feel free to post them below.

Gas Prices and Diminishing Returns

2011-07-18T10:38:00.003-05:00

As everyone complains about gas prices, fuel efficiency is the focus of nearly every automaker’s commercials right now.

You’ll remember that this was also the case in mid-2008, as we experienced our first dose of $4/gallon gas. You may also remember that this fell by the wayside shortly thereafter. The speculative oil bubble exploded violently just as the economy tanked, cutting gas prices by more than half (to $1.60!!!) only six months later.

And of course, the market share of SUVs increased significantly as our short memories coincided with dealer overstocks and reduced prices.

I digress.

For now, high gas prices are back, which means fuel-sippers are hot items. But how much money will you save by driving one of these vehicles?

You’ll find that the law of diminishing returns comes into play here.

All numbers assume 12,000 miles/year and $3.75/gallon of gas. The savings are what you would save by upgrading from the previous mileage; i.e. a vehicle with 25 mpg saves $450 per year over a vehicle with 20 mpg.

You can see that the big savings come at the low end of the mpg spectrum: going from 15 to 25 mpg trounces the savings of going from 25 to 50 mpg ($1200 vs. $900).

Just going from 15 to 20 mpg ($750) nearly matches the savings of going from 25 to 45 mpg ($800).

I'm a big fan of saving energy and money (heck, it's the primary focus of my job), but the payback has to make sense. Before you run out and buy a new car, or try to decide between a hybrid and a standard engine, it's worth figuring out how much you'll actually be saving.

Random Text-Based Google Voicemail

2011-05-31T09:04:00.003-05:00

Google Voice offers the option of getting a voice-to-text "translation" sent to your email when someone leaves a message. Here's one that I received over the weekend:

My name is Peggy and I'm calling in a volunteer Christian work from here and Mary we've been making available to people in our area without charge, a book that answers from the Bible says questions as how we can have a happy, Your family life, white guy, permits F Creek and what he will do in the future to do away with sickness and death here on the error. If you would like a copy of this book at no charge. That shows were to look in your own Bible to find the answers to these questions. Please call XXX-XXXX leave your name and address and I'll be sure to have it delivered to you without charge. Thank you.

Paul Splittorff, 1946-2011

2011-05-25T13:43:00.002-05:00

I have been a Royals fan since I was too young to pronounce my W's (my favorite 2B was Frank "Right"). As I sat in front of the TV for nearly every Royals road game, I learned before I was even in Kindergarten that the answer to my mom's nightly question--"what inning is it?"--was always "8th". A lower number meant she would make me go to bed, but a game in the 8th was close enough to ending that I could stay up a little later to see the conclusion.

I say this just to establish that Paul Splittorff has always been a part of my summers, from his days as a pitcher to the last 24 years as a broadcaster.

He epitomized hard work and getting the most out of one's talents.

He is known as extremely generous with his time and knowledge.

And the next time I hear someone say something negative about him will be the first.

I didn't realize how much I'd miss him--his voice, his contributions, his presence--until he was gone. Word spread of his grave illness last week, but it didn't hit home until now.

He was a Royal from day one (drafted before the Major League team even existed)--a link to the glory days.

I can think of no finer, more honorable ambassador for a baseball franchise than Paul Splittorff.

May he rest in peace.

Tipping at a Sushi Place

2011-05-10T11:00:00.002-05:00

We went to Sakura (AKA Sushi Train) at 75th and Nieman last night. We went a bit later in the evening, and the oval-shaped bar was less crowded than usual.

We sat down to a train full of plates, which got us off to a good start. However, the train emptied rather quickly, and owing to the small crowd, it took a while before the chef made more food.

When he returned, he asked us if we had any requests. We asked for eel (unagi), and he obliged a few moments later with two healthy plates of food.

In response, we placed a few bucks in his tip glass.

We then received our bill, and realized we needed to tip our waitress as well. But what's the breakdown? Between the chef and the waitress, who gets what?

Well, I'm glad I asked.

The hostess/manager explained it thusly:

The money that is placed in the tip glasses at the sushi bar itself goes to the chefs only. The money that is left as a tip upon paying the bill (i.e. anything that doesn't go into the tip glass) is distributed to the servers AND the chefs.

Additionally, the servers are paid by the hour (similar to pretty much any other restaurant) while the chefs are paid a set salary.

Good to know. I'm happy that she was forthcoming with the information. This may not apply unilaterally to all sushi restaurants, but I'd imagine most of them have a similar arrangement.

It's always confusing when there are multiple entities providing service, so it feels good to clear this one up.

P.S. - In related sushi news, the short-lived Asian Breeze at 61st and Nieman is now Sushi Mido. The sign says "All You Can Eat". Should be interesting...we were going to stop there last night, but they're closed on Mondays. Let me know how it is if you check it out before we do.

KC Beer Blog

2011-04-27T11:21:00.002-05:00

I'll be contributing occasionally to the most excellent KC Beer Blog. If you have any interest in getting the latest local info on beers, bars, festivals, etc. I recommend following them. They do a great job of staying current.

My first post is here.

2011: A Cell Phone Odyssey

2011-04-22T09:55:00.003-05:00

I’m not a big gadget guy, so having the latest and greatest in mobile connectivity has never been a priority. I’m not technologically averse; I just don’t tend to buy a lot of toys…or really, stuff in general.

That said, after my well-past-its-prime, 4-year old “feature” phone (i.e., it can text in the old school, hit the ‘3’ key four times to make an ‘f’ sort of way) drowned in a San Francisco rainstorm, I was using my wife’s old Motorola KRZR to get me by.

Yes, it's red.

After looking at how much Verizon was costing us each month, we decided to reassess our cell phone situation overall. We were ready…for smartphones.

First piece of advice: CHECK FOR COMPANY AND ORGANIZATION DISCOUNTS. I found out that by sheer virtue of me being employed at my company, I qualified for monthly discounts of 22% (Verizon and AT&T) and 18% (Sprint). There were some add-ons that didn’t qualify for that full % off, but most of the bill did. You can check the three carriers above by simply searching their websites for “corporate discounts”, entering your work email address, and having them send the deals right to your inbox.

If you know me, you know that some serious analysis was about to take place. With months of prior usage at my fingertips, I figured out the plans we needed. Most of our plan minutes on Verizon were calls to other Verizon phones (free on our plan), so we had to take that into consideration.

When it came down to it, Sprint’s plan of 1500 minutes and unlimited data and text was the most affordable. Plus, they offered a $125 credit PER LINE to port a number over to a Sprint smartphone. Verizon was about $30/month more expensive. AT&T was only slightly more expensive than Sprint per month, but their plan only includes 2 GB of data. I know that’s a lot, but I also don’t want to worry about overages when I’m stuck at an airport for 6 hours and decide to stream a movie.

We both got an EVO 4G. Huge display, runs Android, lots of cool features.

The drawbacks: the huge display comes on an equally huge phone. Even in my relatively large paws, the phone felt cumbersome. Also, the huge display uses huge amounts of juice. Imagine a Hummer with an 8-gallon gas tank.

Of course, those flaws are pardonable. Mostly, I was relieved to finally be done with all the research of plans and phones alike…or so I thought.

Because there was a fatal flaw: we couldn’t make calls in our own house.

Our coverage was bad enough that the first day I had the phone, I dropped a call 3 times in 5 minutes. Yikes. Things did not improve throughout the week.

Fortunately, Sprint has a 30-day guarantee during which you can cancel a contract and return equipment. Which is good, but dammit. It was time to shop again.

I wasn’t keen on AT&T’s data cap, nor Verizon’s extra $30/month. I saw that some AAA members had success getting a discount on T-Mobile, so in the spirit of leaving no stone unturned I gave them a call.

Turns out there is no AAA discount. The sales rep asked to check my employer…no dice. Finally, she asked about my wife’s company.

Hey! Turns out she gets a 10% discount.

Hey again! Turns out the plan we would consider is already on sale, bringing our total down further.

Hey hey hey! Turns out the day I called was the last day of a promotion: free myTouch 4G (their flagship phone at the moment, and Consumer Reports highest-rated smartphone) for new subscribers.

Because they offer a 30-day guarantee as well, I figured I had nothing to lose. I finally placed my order after my Sprint phone dropped my call a couple times (oh, irony).

We got the phones, and get much better coverage than before. Even if that changes, T-Mobile offers free Wi-Fi calling, which means we can make clear calls over our internet connection.

The phones is more compact and more gentle on the battery. I really, really like it. And T-Mobile’s customer service has been excellent—I’ve gotten a knowledgeable, competent person every single time I’ve called.

So, when it’s all said and done, don’t overlook T-Mobile as a potential carrier. Their reputation is mixed, but the negative impressions seem to be relegated to people who don’t use their services. Almost all the people who actually use T-Mobile seem very pleased. So far, so am I.

Why Your Drive to Work is Slow

2011-04-14T14:50:00.003-05:00

Here are the results of my incredibly formal, ridiculously scientific survey as I waited for the light to turn green at 7:50 this morning. I was at a red light headed southbound on Nieman at Shawnee Mission Parkway.

Of the 22 cars heading westbound on Shawnee Mission Parkway during their green light, only 7 drivers (31.8%) were looking vaguely in the direction of the road. The rest were involved in playing with their phone, turning around to yell at their kids, putting on makeup, or turned around looking for something in the back seat.

Of the 8 cars turning from eastbound Shawnee Mission Parkway to northbound Nieman, 4 were looking at the road (50%), which is better, but still a bit alarming considering they were making a turn. One guy even pulled off the impressive smoking/playing with phone/greeting someone he knew in a passing car combo.

I know bitching about other drivers is trite and tired, but it really is bothersome to see how few eyes are actually kinda-sorta on the road at any given time.

How I Kept My Home Phone Number and Stopped Paying for a Landline

2011-04-11T11:18:00.003-05:00

I had my home phone number for 11 years. It was actually my great-grandmother’s number for 30 years before that. I have a bit of an emotional attachment to that number, strange as that may sound. I didn’t want to surrender that number and let it disappear into the fiberoptic ether.

On the other hand, I rarely use my home phone. I stripped all the extras (caller ID and the like) long ago to minimize the cost, and even then I didn’t get any value out of it. The vast majority of calls I receive are from my parents (who immediately call my cell if I don’t answer) and people I don’t want to talk to. Also, I have an established cell phone number that I don't want to surrender either.

My solution (and yours, potentially)? Port my number.

I first looked at Google Voice. They will port your existing number for a one-time $20 fee, which is about the same as what I was paying one month of phone service. After that, it’s free—any call to my Google Voice number can be forwarded to the number(s) of my choosing.

The problem is that they only port wireless numbers – not landlines.

I looked at other internet-based services, some of which allowed landline porting. However, they also came with a monthly fee attached (usually $4-$10 per month) and/or forwarding and per minute charges.

Hmm.

Then, it hit me. I would port my number to a prepaid wireless account, then to Google Voice.

Success.

Here’s how I did it:

1. I checked my number on AT&T’s website to make sure it could be ported.

2. I went to Best Buy and bought the cheapest AT&T GoPhone I could find ($15).

3. I called Customer Service to activate the account, and let them know I wanted to port my number. They helped me get that rolling, though I had to put a minimum amount on the phone to allow porting (another $15). NOTE: you will need your existing home phone account number and billing info. It’s easiest if you have a statement handy.

4. They contacted my landline provider. I waited.

5. I monitored the status at the AT&T website. Once they contact your current carrier, they give you an anticipated porting date. Mine took just under a week.

6. Once it said my porting was complete, my prepaid still wasn’t ringing. I had to call AT&T to finalize it. They took care of it in about 10 minutes.

7. I immediately went to Google Voice and set up an account. Just pick a number. Any number. You won’t have it for long.

8. After establishing my account, I clicked on “edit/change number” and entered my prepaid account number info. It costs $20 to port your wireless number to Google Voice.

9. I got a message saying my prepaid account number wasn’t right. I figured my phone number was the same as my AT&T account number. Turns out it wasn’t.

10. I called AT&T and got my account number. He asked me why I needed it. I was honest. He still gave it to me.

11. Finished the porting process; I was told my number would be ported within 24 hours. It was.

12. I set up my voicemail, forwarding preferences, etc. Now any call to my home number rings to my cell, with caller ID. I also get transcripts of voicemails sent via text or email to the number I choose. It’s a slick setup, and once you get ported over it costs nothing.

Altogether, it cost me $15 for a new phone, $15 worth of prepaid service, and $20 to port to Google Voice. That’s $50, which in my book is a small price for being able to maintain my longtime number in perpetuity. For free.

Here are a couple additional tips:

1. Do not call your current landline provider. Your service will be cancelled automatically once your number is ported.

2. In retrospect, it would have been easier to do all the AT&T stuff online. Verify your number can be ported, then order the cheapest phone and the no-cost package (you’ll still need to put $15 of funds on the account). During the checkout process, you can select whether you want a new phone number or whether you want to bring an existing number over.

3. When you check out, make sure you write down your account number. You’ll need it when you move to Google Voice (you can always call and get it if you forget).

An Update on Dodge City Beef

2011-03-31T15:12:00.004-05:00

A while back, I mentioned Dodge City Beef on this blog. At that time, they had just opened up a retail store at 11115 Johnson Drive in Shawnee, and they carried a line of responsibly raised beef from their family ranch in Kansas.

It's a year later, and the store has done quite well.

For starters, they carry an even wider array of beef. Their filet mignon, sirloins, and ground beef (over 90% lean!) have been joined by harder-to-find cuts like flank and skirt steak, along with at least 3 types of roasts. For the 'cue enthusiasts, they get a regular supply of briskets now too, though I would recommend calling ahead if it's any time near a major competition.

Also of interest is that they have taken on the products of other local ranchers with similar practices. They now carry whole chickens and a variety of pork including thick-cut chops, bacon, and shoulder. On my last visit, they even had some ground bison.

The chicken, pork, and bison come from neighboring ranches, so they are not supplied quite as often. If you're looking for something in particular, it's best to call in advance to make sure it's in stock. Heidi, who runs the store, is always willing to set something aside for you.

We buy all of our beef from there because we like the quality and knowing where our food comes from. If you're interested in that sort of thing, I'm sure you'll like their products as well.

They're open from Tuesday-Saturday, and their number is 913-499-0204. You can also like them on Facebook to be notified of special events and deals.

Kansas City and The United States of Tara

2011-03-24T13:13:00.005-05:00

When we switched TV providers last year, one of the promos was the inclusion 3 months of HBO and Showtime for free.

It worked. We got hooked on shows from both networks.

We've been catching up on The United States of Tara ahead of its 3rd season premiere next Monday.

The show is about a suburban family of four. The wife (Tara) suffers from Disassociative Identity Disorder, which you probably know better as Multiple Personality Disorder.

There are at least 6 "alters" that have been introduced, each of which brings some semblance of levity, comic relief, or discomfort to the show's other characters.

One of the most striking things to me is that fact that the show is set in Overland Park. And the references are spot-on, both in terms of Kansas City and the Johnson County/suburban dynamic.

For example:

-The husband gets arrested, and the cops tell Tara that they're taking him to the County Jail over in Olathe.

-A creepy 27-year-old starts dating the teenage daughter, and he offers to buy her "a loft...in the Crossroads District."

-The teenage son (who is gay) and a friend drive to a park. The experienced friend wants to show the son how to cruise for sex. In an obvious reference to Penn Valley/Liberty Memorial, the son says, "Yeah, I've been there plenty of times, but just for school. You know it's the only dedicated World War I Museum in the country?"

-After Tara and the husband argue, the teenage son says he's keeping the house in the event of a divorce. He adds that he can't change schools because "Shawnee North has gangs."

(This one is especially true-to-life: when the Shawnee Mission School Board was going through their redistricting plans back in September, some students at one of the elementary schools that feeds SM Northwest High School were going to be reassigned to Shawnee Mission North. Parents went apeshit, going so far as to claim their property values would decline by 20% and ultimately cost the district money. It's funny because they're using typical suburban denial in lieu of admitting the real reason: more poor and minority students go to SM North, and that's scary to them.)

In trying to figure out how this came to be, I found an old article from Aaron Barnhart:

"We have someone working on the show who's from Overland Park, Kansas," said [show co-creator Diablo] Cody. "She said that everyone out there hangs out at the Ken-Taco-Hut."

That someone, Lindsey Allen-Springer, is the manager of development at DreamWorks TV, which is producing "United States of Tara" for Showtime. It was DreamWorks co-founder Steven Spielberg's idea for a comedy about a woman with DID, or dissociative identity disorder, that Cody developed into this series. Allen-Springer, originally of Olathe, is a 2002 graduate of K-State.

So there you go. If you have a chance, check out the show. It is alternately hilarious and heartbreaking, and always interesting.

How To Turn Someone Into a Control Freak

2011-03-21T12:25:00.002-05:00

1. Promise a person you'll take care of something important.

2. Don't take care of said important thing.

Drunken Fish Sushi: A Detailed Account

2011-03-17T12:10:00.004-05:00

A group of seven of us got together last night for a friend’s birthday dinner. The spot selected was Drunken Fish, the new outpost of the St. Louis-based trendy sushi restaurant. It’s located in the Power & Light District.

First, the opinion portion of the review:

The sushi was underwhelming. There was nothing wrong with it, but there was also nothing memorable about it. It’s probably a 4 on a 10-point scale.

It didn’t help that the wasabi was nearly flavorless and without heat. That is, except for one person’s plate; we sampled his green stuff and it had an almost-acceptable horseradish kick. I ate a huge glob of mine straight, and it was less pungent than fresh-ground black pepper. When we pointed out this discrepancy, our waitress explained that it depends on how much you mix into your soy sauce, as if we couldn’t comprehend the concept of dilution.

It was somewhat expensive, but probably not out of line with what you’d expect to pay at an establishment in your favorite KCMO-taxpayer-subsidized district.

The atmosphere was pretty noisy, and I think that’s by design. Places with drinks called the “Asian Fetish” and “Dirty Kimono” typically aren’t known for being relaxing. And that’s fine—it is what it is.

Now, the timetable portion of the review:

7:35pm We were seated.

7:40pm Drinks were ordered.

7:58pm Drinks were finally received.

8:05pm Our food order was finally taken.

8:30pm My blood sugar tumbles into negative integers and I become very crabby.

8:30:01pm My wife asks about our food.

8:35pm Our waitress says our food is on its way.

8:43pm A manager apologizes for our wait (finally) and says our food is on its way.

8:50pm Our waitress says our food is being plated and will be right out.

8:57pm Food finally arrives. We devour it quickly, thanks to hunger and our desire to get the hell out. Yeah…read on.

9:15pm We request our checks.

9:22pm We receive a round of Key Lime Pie shots from the manager as an apology. Um…okay, thanks, but we’re trying to leave.

9:31pm A birthday dessert is brought out for us to share. Thanks, but really? Now?

9:36pm Now it gets really bizarre. The waitress brings out COMMENT CARDS and jokes that you can use them to say “how awesome she was”. NOW she apologizes for everything taking so long, and this is their “soft opening”, and look over there—the general manager is making sushi, and we should come back for happy hour and their grand opening and all this other stuff. Also at this time, she delivers our checks, which we shove our cards in and immediately hand back.

9:51pm We are finally cashed out.

The first two timestamps are approximate within a few minutes (I had no reason to check my watch at that time). Everything else is actual time.

Really. Just check the intervals between some of those items and consider how long they really are.

A couple more things:

-“Soft opening” is bullshit. According to the Pitch's Fat City blog, they opened their doors 3 weeks ago. Also, this is the 4th Drunken Fish location—not some first-time restaurateur’s maiden voyage. They should be way better than this.

-Our waitress, while certainly not unpleasant, was somewhat…I think “tone-deaf” is the word. She never apologized during our painful wait for nourishment. Instead, after we sat foodless for quite some time (it was sometime after my blood sugar crash) she came over and asked how everyone was doing as if we were in the middle of our meal. Then the comment cards came out, and joking that we should say she was awesome when we clearly wanted to leave??? What would have been awesome would be to get our checks. There was just no empathy whatsoever; it was rather obvious that we hadn’t had a good experience and wanted to leave but she just never saw that.

-The staff was nice enough and meant well. The manager giving us shots wasn’t really what I wanted (especially at the time he gave them to us), but he was at least trying. And the water guy kept my glass full all night.

Bottom line? I was already a bit wary of a place whose spokesperson says, “It’s not just about eating sushi. It’s about the experience.” When the pedestrian Japanese fare is the best part of the “experience”, you’ve got a hell of a lot of work to do.

Apple in This Economy

2011-03-14T09:57:00.005-05:00

Immediately below an article about how badly an extra quarter per gallon of gas will hurt the economy, I saw news that Apple sold close to 1 million iPad2s on the tablet's debut weekend.

The most stunning thing about the article is that 60% of these toys, which cost anywhere from $499 to $829, were bought by people WHO ALREADY OWN A 1st GENERATION iPAD.

These were released at similar prices LESS THAN A YEAR AGO.

Look, I think I have a pretty balanced attitude toward Apple products. They're well-designed, stylish, and capable machines.

They're also very expensive. My laptop (i5 processor, 500 GB hard drive, 4 GB RAM) cost the same as the LOWEST-PRICED iPad.

I'm really stunned that this many people are shelling out this kind of scratch for something that does some really cool things, but is an absolutely unnecessary indulgence for 95% of the people who buy it.

What stuns me even more is that Apple fanboys/fangirls will just lap up every new release that comes their way, never questioning why the company they revere intentionally withholds features and technology so they can get in their wallets all the more frequently.

The Southwest Rapid Rewards Kerfuffle

2011-01-07T17:04:00.005-06:00

Earlier this week, Southwest Airlines announced changes to their popular loyalty/frequent flyer program, Rapid Rewards.

Based on the comments on their Facebook thread, it appears people are PISSED.

Here's how it used to work: Fly a one-way segment--any segment, whether it's Tampa-Seattle or KC-St. Louis--earn one credit. Get 16 credits, earn a free flight.

In other words, any 8 round trips within a two-year window earned you a free flight to and from any Southwest destination. They had rental car and hotel partners too (1/2 credit per stay/rental).

Under the new system, you earn points based on how much you spend. Similarly, the points can be redeemed like cash toward flights. It's just like a hotel rewards program. The cheaper the flight, the fewer points you earn (and the fewer points it costs).

People are not happy.

Here's my list of reasons, followed by why I think their consternation is misplaced:

1. They don't understand the rules. 'Nuff said. Kneejerk anger for the sake of anger.

2. They think they've changed the rules to make it much more difficult to earn a flight. This is a little true, but not worthy of outrage. On a dollar-for-dollar basis, it now takes 10 roundtrip flights to earn an equivalent free flight (instead of 8). Note I said "equivalent". That means you can't shuttle from Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale 8 times, then earn a free round trip to Portland, OR. You shuttle 10 times, then get your 11th shuttle (or equivalent) free.

Plus, your points never expire under the new system. A lot more people will be able to eventually earn a free flight now.

And by the way - at one point, I was traveling 3+ times a month for work. Granted, most of that was on Southwest, but to this day I have NEVER earned a ticket on another carrier. I don't see how a leisure traveler ever could do so.

3. They think they've drawn up the point structure to benefit business travelers. So what? Leisure travelers fail to recognize this: if people didn't travel for business, air travel as you know it would not exist. Period. So spare them your resentment. Businesspeople, especially those who frequently have to pay through the nose for short-notice fares, subsidize that $89 seat you bought to Las Vegas. And while you associate the airport with fun places like Sin City, they associate it with yet another week of being away from their family while they visit a construction site in Birmingham, AL. They are the only reason there are so many flights available at those fares. Forgive Southwest if they're trying to build loyalty with those who spend the most.

Here's the real reason for the anger.

They think Southwest has sold out.

Southwest has traditionally served smaller, regional airports like Dallas Love Field instead of DFW, and destinations like Louisville, KY instead of Boston, MA. Well, guess what? They serve Boston directly now. They're back in San Francisco, and they have a presence at NY LaGuardia and Newark--all expensive places. They're not the little airline that could anymore. They're a huge carrier, and the most profitable by far of US airlines. As recently as 5 years ago, they were the closest thing to a "populist" airline as there was: no first class, no preferential treatment, no option to pay more and get more.

Not anymore.

You can pay extra for "Business Select", which gets you on the plane first to avoid the cattle call (and gets you a free drink and extra rewards points).

You can pay $10 extra to upgrade to the "A" group.

Rewards flights, which used to be valid as long as there was a seat available on the plane, can only be used on flights that are less than half-full at the time of booking. Also, I think people are pissed that they can't use $800 worth of cheapass roundtrips to earn a transcontinental flight, even though that policy was kinda ridiculous for Southwest to even offer. You can't stay 10 nights at a Motel 6 to earn a free night at the Four Seasons, for crissakes.

And their fares? Not really all that cheap anymore when you compare them to others.

Yes, bags still fly free. And yes, their people are more laid back/fun/friendly than those on your average legacy character.

But everyday people are pissed because they thought Southwest was THEIR airline, on THEIR side.

Nope. Things done changed.

Why I'd Be Calling You From Jail

2010-12-14T13:11:00.003-06:00

I'm a law-abiding citizen. A "standup guy", if you will.

My worst legal transgression is my habit of driving 5-7 mph over the speed limit.

I know what you're thinking: a real wild man, this guy. *eyeroll*

Well, I am what I am, and right now I'm an adult with a wife, a mortgage, a job, and a retirement account.

In other words, I've got shit to lose. Even if I have a stupid impulse (and these are more and more rare as I age), it only takes me a moment to consider the negative consequences of acting on it. Impulse purged.

Unless...something gets in the way of that purge. I don't worry about peer pressure, lust, any of that stuff.

Nope. I know myself pretty well, and the only thing that worries me is that someone will just royally piss me off / get my goat / push my buttons.

And I will pummel him.

Mind you, a single act is never enough to get me that angry. I will always present an opportunity to defuse the situation. Even a modicum of remorse, humanity, or explanation is enough to talk me down.

What am I getting at?

Today, I spent my lunch hour at Oak Park Mall shopping. As I left the mall, I noticed a car one aisle over swing into the parking spaces a bit aggressively.

Sure enough, the car pulled all the way through about 5 feet in front of me without looking.

I'm glad I saw it coming; even so, I had to slam on my brakes to avoid a collision. I laid on my horn as well. Yeah, I was kinda pissed. It was a really damn close call.

However, the whole thing could have been over quickly. If he had raised his hand and waved or given any acknowledgment whatsoever that could be construed as "my bad", I would have waved back, calmed down, and the situation would have been over.

Recognition. Apology. No escalation. Done.

The next best option would have been what usually happens in this type of scenario: Driver is embarrassed by own incompetence, puts head down, and hightails it away hoping no eye contact will happen.

No acknowledgment, so I would have stewed on it for a few minutes (again, it was really close) but I would have been over it by the time I sat through a traffic signal.

But no.

Bastard flipped ME off.

And I about lost it.

YOU messed up. YOU don't get to flip ME off!

My mind danced with visions of the furious beating I dreamed of laying on this asswipe. That middle finger of his was emboldened by the false sense of security his car provided.

After realizing that I was still right behind him, he got scared, cut through another gap in the parking lot, and ran a stop sign.

Right in front of a Sheriff's vehicle. He was pulled over immediately.

This isn't the first time karma has been repaid so swiftly. That calmed me down pretty quickly.

And I like to think that in any situation I'll calm down, no matter what fingers are raised, no matter what words are spoken.

But I acknowledge that one day, someone might say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and a lesson will be taught.

I doubt this will ever happen. But if you ever get a call from jail, and it's me on the other end of the line, just know that something like this will probably be the reason why.

Bar Dating: Where to Drink in NoJoCo

2010-11-30T08:42:00.006-06:00

One of the few downsides to life in NoJoCo is the dearth of good bars.

Most drinking establishments in the area are either unintimidating dive bars or sterile sports bars. There isn’t much to distinguish between one place and the next.

Therefore, my wife and I turned a critical eye to some local establishments through a series of "bar dates" in the hopes of finding a decent place to get a drink.

We needed some criteria for judgment.

-Obviously, location is important. Anything more than 10 minutes away, we might as well go to Westport to drink at the bars we already know we like. The closer, the better.

-Jackass clientele is a big hurdle to overcome anytime you’re drinking in JoCo; in fact, it’s generally the biggest hurdle. You’re very likely to be surrounded by preening fauxhawks, loud assholes in frathats (chewing on cigars if they’re outside), or 'woo girls' whose every inane statement is inflected like a question. It can be rough.

We judged ambience as the vibe of the place after extracting the clientele. Music, noise level, and the feeling we got from the place in general. Highly subjective, but like most people we know when we’re in a place where we're comfortable.

Service matters! Friendliness and attentiveness go a long way.

Finally, beer is our drink of choice. We don’t drink Bud Light (or the ubiquitous Boulevard Wheat, for that matter). Having at least a few beers we really like is vital.

(Food was not a factor; we have plenty of places nearby where we like to eat.)

All categories are rated from 1 (lousy) to 5 (excellent).

The Other Place – Downtown Overland Park

Sterile sports bar. Utterly average and vaguely pleasant all the way around. Lots of TVs and an interactive trivia game. Quite a few beers on tap, but few of any real interest – I think 1554, Sam Adams Octoberfest, and Guinness were my top 3. A bit far from our house to become a regular spot.

Location 2, Clientele 2.5, Beer Selection 3, Ambience 2.5, Service 2

Total = 12
---------------------------
Maloney’s – Downtown Overland Park

With the spacious patio, they were considerably busier than the Other Place due to the pleasant weather the night we visited. Not a great beer selection, though they did have Tank 7 on tap. Pretty friggin’ douchetastic on the people front. Service was very friendly, though they appeared to be understaffed the night I was there.

Location 2, Clientele 2, Beer Selection 2.5, Ambience 3, Service 3.5

Total = 13
---------------------------
Birdie’s – 75th and Antioch

Dated but comfortable décor, with lots of brass and old-school bar stools. A slightly older, more modest, well-behaved group of people having drinks. Bartender was super-friendly and took great care of us. Not a lot of beers, but I was impressed that they had the Boulevard seasonal and porter on tap (along with wheat and pale). Can’t really complain about this place.

Location 3, Clientele 4, Beer Selection 3, Ambience 4, Service 4.5

Total = 18.5
-----------------------------
Barley’s Brewhouse – 435 and Midland Drive

When we sit on the restaurant side, we’re always pleased with our experience. But if we’re going for a drink, we sit on the bar side, and that’s where the problems start. Make no mistake - it’s a nice place, the servers generally know their stuff, and they have an elite beer selection. But damn if I don’t end up aggravated every time I’m there. Whether it’s the 50-something couple whose makeout-induced spittle almost landed on my shoulder or the assholes who just finished 18 at the muni on the other side of highway who are harrassing the waitress and jostling our table, the people who drink there just piss me off. That and the fact that it is almost as long a drive as the Foundry means we only go here if we’re eating.

Location 1, Clientele 1, Beer Selection 5, Ambience 4, Service 4

Total = 15
--------------------------
Bilski’s – Johnson Drive and Merriam Drive

Nondescript little dive. Its best quality is its location, since it’s about a mile from our house. They have Boulevard Stout on tap in addition to Pale and Wheat, and that’s about it. The epitome of the unintimidating dive. Hardly anyone in there during our visits (early evening), so it was difficult to judge clientele.

Location 5, Clientele 3, Beer Selection 2, Ambience 3, Service 3

Total = 16
---------------------------
The Pour House – 74th and Nieman

Jesus Christ, what a trainwreck. Dark bar, lots of black paint. Patrons yelling at the top of their lungs and pounding on tables, and the staff is okay with it. Bartender didn’t look at us for close to 10 minutes despite sitting at a table next to the bar. Waitress finally approached and said, “How are you?” When I responded with a smile, “Fine, how are you,” she sighed/smirked/expressed her utter displeasure before grunting “fine” as if I’d asked her to clean my toilet. We ordered Pale Ales, a fallback beer for me (and a last resort for my wife). The server went outside, took others’ orders, and forgot about us. After another wait, we told her we had to leave, and we left without having a drink. Thank god, because karaoke was about to start. I’m pissed that I even have to technically give them the location points.

Location 3, Clientele 1, Beer Selection 1, Ambience 1, Service 0

Total = 6
--------------------------
Aftershock – 53rd and Merriam Drive

As much performance venue as bar; we later found out it was the headquarters of the KC Rockabilly Society. However, they had an indie rock show that night in the form of one of those battle of the bands scams where the promoter (not the venue in this case) makes all the entrants sell a certain number of expensive tickets in the hopes of loading the crowd. The bouncer didn’t make us pay because we were just there for a drink and the show was almost over. The band we saw was pretty damn good though, and we thought maybe we had found something great: a place to see music with non-pretentious people, the shows don’t start super late, and it’s a mile from our house.

As the night progressed, we made some realizations. One, all they had to drink (for us) was Guinness. Two, it doesn’t appear they’re open unless there’s a show. Three, by the end of the night, we discovered a large number of those non-pretentious people…were underage. In some cases, like high school age (they apparently have all-ages shows rather frequently). Which really made me feel betrayed, because there’s a covenant between me and a bar: if the bar attracts good-looking people in revealing clothes, I get to observe guilt-free so long as I’m not an ass about it. Now every time I see this in any bar, the first thought through my head is, “Is she 17 or 22?” ‘Cause I damn sure can’t tell the difference. Sigh.

Location 5, Clientele 4 2, Beer Selection 1.5, Ambience 4, Service 3

Total = ~~17.5~~ 15.5
---------------------------------------------------
Waxy O’Shea’s Irish Pub – 63rd and Quivira

There is no singular stellar aspect to this place, but everything is above average. Good bartenders, a few beers on tap that we would actually drink, not far from the house, bonus points for regularly having people 55+ enjoying a pint or two, bonus points for having Bob Reeder and other Irish acts from time to time. It looks like a suburban chain restaurant from the outside (which it was in a previous life) but inside is cozy and welcoming. Until we try a couple more places on our list, this is likely our go-to place for a nearby drink.

Location 4, Clientele 4, Beer Selection 3.5, Ambience 4, Service 4

Total = 19.5

Where else should we try?

Property Taxes: KCK v Merriam

2010-11-23T11:16:00.002-06:00

Last week I got my property tax statements.

Yes, that’s “statements”, plural.

Before my wife and I purchased our little slice of heaven in Merriam, I bought a vacant, mostly wooded lot on the WyCo side of the county line. We thought we wanted to build, but we came to some realizations.

First, it would cost a lot more than an existing house. Second, every single person we know who has gone through building a house said it bordered on nightmarish. And HOLY CRAP were there a lot of existing houses for sale.

We ended up with a house we really like, and in retrospect there are even more reasons that building a contemporary home on that lot was better left to our imaginations.

Practically speaking, the lot wasn’t all that great. In the full foliage of summer, the highway noise emanating from the junction of interstates 35 and 635 was a bit muted and the bright lights of the public storage facility behind the lot were shaded from view. In the winter, not so much.

We would have had way too nice a house for the area. This is a commentary on the area, not a commentary on our lavish lifestyle and tastes.

And then…there are those property tax statements I mentioned.

The mill levy in Merriam – that’s the sum of all the taxing jurisdictions, including city, county, schools, JuCo, etc. – is 118.2210.

In the Turner School District (where the vacant lot is located), it’s 177.8620.

Bottom line? The tax rate is 50% higher there than in Merriam. (It trumps northern Overland Park by more than 70%).

To put it another way: a $150,000 house in KCK has roughly the same monthly payment as a $170,000 house in Merriam once you factor in the property taxes.

KCK is still fighting an uphill battle. The tax base has continued to erode in two ways, as people continue to move away (albeit more slowly than before), and their property values took much more severe hit than most areas during this downturn.

I feel for my hometown, but not as much as I did when I lived there.

I don't feel so great when "it's not my problem anymore" runs through my mind. It doesn't stop me from thinking it, though.

George W. Bush on CBS Sunday Morning

2010-11-15T10:56:00.003-06:00

Our Sunday morning routine usually involves watching CBS Sunday Morning and reading the paper.

This week's episode included an interview between president George W. Bush and Jim Axelrod, which you can watch here.

On the sickening feeling he got when there were no WMDs:

"Well, because, sickening is the fact that so many people felt that that was the only reason we went in to liberate Iraq," he replied.

"So in a way, the case became undermined, and it frankly, the failure to find weapons of mass destruction let Saddam off the hook."

"Then once it was shown that there were no WMDs, didn't it undermine the legitimacy of the U.S. invading?" Axelrod asked.

"Well, you know, that's part of the problem. You know, in some people's minds, they said, 'Wait a minute, if this is the main part of the case, we made a mistake,'" Mr. Bush said.

"I don't think, I don't agree with that," he chuckled. "I, I think that the liberation of Iraq not only makes America more secure, it gives 25 million people the chance to live in a free society. And that free society, over time, will have a transformative effect in the Middle East."

"And so the liberation, in your view, justifies everything."

"Well, I think, in my view, what justifies everything is the removal of a threat," President Bush said. "[In] other words, the decision to leave him in power, and my judgment, would've been a decision that could've created enormous chaos in the world. Now, as one could envision a nuclear arms race between Saddam and Iran, and then they'd have been saying, 'Wait a minute - the failure to act created enormous stress.'"

On Katrina:

When asked why Katrina was one event where he took too long to decide, President Bush said, "I got caught up in the legal system. [it's] not an excuse. I'm just giving you the facts. And that's the purpose - "

"But you're the President of the United States," Axelrod said.

"No, I know. But that, the purpose of the book is to show you the decision-making process. And in this case, it, in order to send troops into New Orleans, the law says that the governor must declare an emergency and request [them], or I have to declare an insurrection.

"In retrospect, now, knowing what I know today, which is, you know, it's not exactly what you get to do when you're sitting there, I would've sent in troops a lot quicker."

"There was a common feeling that after Katrina, you could never fully regain the trust of the American people," Axelrod said. "Did you feel Katrina was a fork in the road for your Presidency?"

"I felt Katrina was a part of a very difficult period for my presidency," Mr. Bush chuckled. "[in] other words, I said, 'Let's reform Social Security,' and a Republican Congress didn't. Iraq was very difficult in '06. And Katrina was just a part of a narrative that, that, you know, began to undermine me personally with some of the public, a lot of the public for that matter."

The Big Show

2010-10-28T10:17:00.004-05:00

After 12 years and something like 800 performances, I may have reached the pinnacle of my improv career Friday night.

Tantrum got to perform at the annual conference of the National Collegiate Honors Council. We had a captive, energetic audience of over 1,500 people.

Our show was at The Midland, on the same stage where Jerry Seinfeld had just performed the night before.

It was the largest crowd I’ve ever entertained, and the largest and best venue I’ve ever played.

And we were ON. Just a tremendous show.

Instead of running onto a small intimate stage, we waited--music cranked--for the enormous curtain to be lifted.

Instead of entertaining a few dozen family, friends, and fellow improvisers, we were making more than 1,500 very intelligent people laugh big and laugh often.

It was quite a rush, and of course it was over too soon.

And that, in retrospect, is the bittersweet part of it. Realizing that these opportunities don’t come along very often, that we may never do such a great show for such a big room again...it’s not hyperbole to say that Friday night may have been a once-in-a-lifetime gig.

Damn, was it fun.

P.S. This happens to be my 200th post on this here blog. It took less than seven months to get through the first hundred, and almost seventeen months to get through the next hundred. Thanks to all of you who still check in, even though my output isn’t what it used to be.

Overheard at the Gym

2010-10-19T12:16:00.003-05:00

After I finished my workout today, I climbed off the cardio machine du jour and removed my headphones.

A woman, probably about 40 years old, was on the elliptical in front of and to the right of me. She was talking to a girl, probably 13 or 14 years old. I'm assuming it was her daughter.

As I walked past them to return the magazine I was reading, the girl says:

"What are 'show-ers' and 'grow-ers'?"

My head whipped around to catch the mom wrinkling up her forehead, as if puzzled by the question.

The guy on the machine next to her happened to be taking a sip of water, and he did the most wonderful, honest spit-take I've ever seen. As he coughed the excess water away, the mom said, "Well it looks like HE might know!"

The guy looked mortified, and he violently shook his head side-to-side as he tried to gather his speaking voice.

Finally, he said, "That's WAY out of my jurisdiction. I would suggest that you [the mom] look it up first and proceed with caution."

Beautiful.

Your 2010 Kansas City Royals

2010-10-04T10:27:00.000-05:00

Well, another lost season has come and gone for the Royals. After flirting with 4th place most of the year, they finished with authority and ended the year in the cellar. At 67-95, they had the 5th worst record in baseball. At least they didn’t lose 100.

The 2010 Royals were strange. The first half of the year featured Guillen, Ankiel, Farnsworth, and Podsednik—middling veterans who we knew (hoped?) would not be around in August. The second half showcased…Betemit, Blanco, and Ka’aihue.

Yes, it was an odd year, but at least they didn’t bother getting our hopes up (Ned Yost’s All-Star Break “we’re still in it” comment notwithstanding).

Random observations:

-The Royals leader in home runs was shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt with 16. Yeah. Him. Technically, he was tied for the team lead with Jose Guillen, who was traded in August and only played in 106 games for KC.

Sixteen home runs is tied with the Oakland A’s for the worst team-leading total in baseball this year.

For perspective, Betancourt would have finished NINTH on the Toronto Blue Jays in home runs, behind such luminaries as John Buck.

-Quiz time: Who had the lowest ERA among Royals starters this year? If you said Zack Greinke you are correct. But if you said Bruce Chen, you are also correct – they tied at 4.17. So yes, last year’s Cy Young winner and a career journeyman who throws 86 mph had roughly equivalent seasons. Chen led the Royals with 12 wins.

Speaking of Greinke, he never looked dominant this year. The lack of motivation may have something to do with it, but he never seemed to have any of the electric stuff he showed last year. More alarming, he got absolutely SHELLED a few times. I have no idea what to expect of him next year.

-Joakim Soria is probably the best pick in the history of the Rule 5 draft. The Royals might have the best closer in the game right now, which is about as useful as owning a motorcycle in Alaska.

-Alex Gordon, who is ready to “dominate” next year, batted .215 in a couple hundred at-bats.

I don’t expect much in 2011, and that’s as it should be for a Royals fan. We might see our first glimpses of the future in Montgomery, Moustakas, and Hosmer. But I see another win total in the 60s, while bigger crowds than they really deserve cheer them on between texts and facebook updates.

More From OK Go.

2010-09-21T22:17:00.002-05:00

It's obligatory at this point. OK Go...and Friends. Enjoy.

Final Thoughts Before Kickoff

2010-09-13T20:01:00.004-05:00

My posts have been sporadic lately, but I had to get this in before kickoff to lend it any credibility.

Really, this post consists of a single question aimed at a single group.

To those who have been saying:

Yeah, I think the Chiefs are probably an 8 or 9 win team.

Not "if everything goes right and Denver and Oakland are wretched and Philip Rivers gets hurt".

Not "best case scenario".

But with a matter-of-fact tone that suggests a sentiment of, "Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm making a statement with a reasonable level of confidence."

My question is this:

What the hell have you seen that makes you think it is likely that this team will win half its games?

Todd Haley is still a pompous prick who sounds constipated when he talks inanely about guys "caring" and "buying in".

Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis are nothing special; they are simply reputations created as underlings in New England.

Though Eric Berry can't hurt, our defensive front is the same one that allowed a Cleveland Browns journeyman to run for almost 300 years last year.

And last I checked, Matt Cassel was our quarterback.

Enlighten me - what the hell have you seen that suggests doubling last year's win total? I would even have accepted a preseason performance as evidence at this point...but there's not one to point to.

I really hope I'm wrong.

Posted at 8:13pm, FWIW.

Don't Get "Mad"

2010-09-13T14:18:00.000-05:00

I don’t get Mad Men.

Granted, I’ve watched only two episodes, but two hours of my life is all the show’s going to get.

People blather on about how beautifully the show captures the 1960s—the clothes, the sexism, the smoking. I got over that in about 15 minutes. Yes, you’ve done your research. Now have your characters DO something.

I’m told I’d appreciate it more if I watched the whole series. Well, yeah; that’s normally the case with serial dramas. It’s just that I’m way past the point of investing time in things while hoping they’ll get better. I prefer instead to move on to better, more promising things. I would far prefer to miss out on something than wish I could precious hours of free time refunded.

I’m not saying it’s a bad show. It’s fine. The acting is good. The subtlety present in the storytelling is a nice counterpoint to the melodrama and David-Caruso-style jackassery so common on the procedural du jour.

However, I think the pendulum swings too far toward style and nuance. If you want me to watch the show, I need something of substance BEFORE your final commercial break.

I guess what I’m saying is I just don’t understand the hype.

35

2010-08-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

So I turn 35 tomorrow.

I’ve been asked how I feel about that.

Not too shabby, thanks for asking.

Don’t get me wrong – the number sounds a bit odd, like it’s not real. It doesn’t seem quite right. It seems like life hit the accelerator about 11 years ago and started flipping calendar pages with reckless abandon.

It doesn’t seem possible that I graduated high school literally half my lifetime ago.

So…although I’ll admit to the occasional head-shaking as to how NOW got here so quickly and stealthily, I can’t complain about life at 35 one tiny little bit.

I’m in good health and in good shape. No ailments, aches, pains, or meds.

I have great friends who make me laugh.

I live in a nice house in a nice area.

I am able to do lots of things in my life that make me happy. Travel, improv, softball, food, drink…in no particular order.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I like my job—the work, the people, the company. I like all of it.

Most of all, I married the right woman. She makes all the aforementioned stuff 10 times better.

Not too shabby.

Responsible Fast Food Consumption?

2010-08-13T11:26:00.003-05:00

It would be nice to have a healthy, sit-down meal loaded with fruits, vegetables, and lean protein 3 times a day.

It would also be unrealistic.

Sometimes the drive-thru happens.

However, if you play your cards right, there are ways to avoid dropping a 1,200 calorie bomb on your attempts to maintain your weight. And I’m only going to mention things that leave me satisfied enough to avoid raiding the vending machine at 2:30.

General rule: Stay away from fatty sauces (regular salad dressings, and anything cheese- or mayo-based). Also, there’s only so much you can do if you order something with a shitton of rice or fried potatoes.

Taco Bell:
It might surprise you to know that a regular taco contains only 170 calories. Three of these makes a reasonably-sized meal. You can even shave 20 calories apiece by ordering “Fresco style”, which replaces the cheese with pico de gallo. I don’t do this, but you can. Also good choices: the new cantina tacos, which have the traditional corn tortilla/meat/onion/cilantro/lime construction. They’re not bad, especially for drive-thru food. Steak (the tastiest of the three) = 160 calories, Chicken = 170, Carnitas = 200 calories.

Panda Express:
There are plenty of good choices here, and they make it easy by displaying the “Wok Smart” logo next to any entrée with 250 calories or less. Get a two-entrée plate, avoid Orange Chicken and Beijing Beef, and you’re set…as long as you choose the mixed vegetables as your side. Here's why: Chow mein noodles (400 calories), steamed rice (420), fried rice (570!)…and vegetables (35).

Subway:
Lots of low-cal choices, but that doesn’t matter when I am famished two hours later. Plus, it’s just not tasty. I rarely eat at Subway. If you must, do one of the lean 6-inch subs (they're marked as such) with double meat.

Chipotle:
They finally published their nutritional info after refusing to do so for many years. It’s probably because a standard burrito there with cheese and sour cream weighs in at 970 calories. Even now, they have a very defensive disclaimer on their info insisting that their calories are far better for you.

To the numbers: the tortilla itself has 290 calories. With that in mind, order a Burrito Bol, or better yet, a salad (if you do the latter, use salsa instead of the 260-calorie dressing).

A Bol with rice, beans, meat, salsa, and cheese will come in under 600 calories. Sub fajita vegetables for beans and it’s under 500. A salad (again, use salsa for the dressing) removes the rice and about 100 calories.

Note: All the meats have roughly the same calories; if you feel like steak or pork, they’re no worse than the chicken.

McDonald’s:
It’s tough to stay under 600 calories and still get enough to eat here. A McDouble is 390 calories. A six piece McNuggets with one small sauce is 330. Get one of those with a small fry (230), I guess. When I have to resort to this I’m usually hungry again sooner than I’d like. I guess you could do a fruit and yogurt parfait (160) instead of the fries. I mean, if you're into that.

The grilled chicken salads are a reasonable option at 220-320 calories before adding dressing. The balsamic (80 calories/packet) and Italian (120) are the best dressing choices. I just don’t care for the salads I’ve had there.

This is kinda fun. I’ll do a few more when time permits.

A-Rod's 600th and the Hall of Fame

2010-08-05T16:29:00.004-05:00

When Alex Rodriguez hit his 600th career home run yesterday, lots of discussion was stirred about his legacy.

The biggest topic: will he be elected to the Hall of Fame?

As most of you know, A-Rod admitted using steroids before this baseball season began. That put him squarely in the company of convicted cheats (Rafael Palmeiro, Manny Ramirez), assumed cheats (Bonds, McGwire), and admitted cheats (Canseco, Giambi).

Note that every single one of these players would be a Hall of Famer (yes, probably even Giambi) if we knew nothing of PED use among major leaguers.

Why does the steroid issue bother baseball fans so much more than, say, football fans?

Simple: baseball's history and context and the ability to compare players from different eras are what make the sport special.

The steroid era has made those comparisons impossible, at least right now.

There needs to be a contextual adjustment to understand the full effects of PEDs

And that's why my answer to the question--will A-Rod (or Bonds, or McGwire, et al) get into the Hall of Fame--is yes. Eventually.

In the 1980s, 400 home runs was a magic number. The only person with that many home runs who wasn't in the Hall was Dave Kingman, whose only skill was hitting home runs. He was also a notorious asshole, which didn't help.

But that's basically all it took - 400 home runs.

Now, some people are saying players with 600 home runs (or 762, for that matter) shouldn't be in the Hall because of what they've been caught/admitted to/are suspected of doing.

That leaves two options: close the Hall of Fame to an entire generation of players, or let the chapter close and look at the numbers to understand the context in which they were achieved.

Baseball fans - the seamhead, sabermetrician type - are notoriously obsessed with numbers. Once the pre- and post- random testing numbers have been posted by the players, they will be applied an infinite number of ways in an infinite number of iterations to statistical career norms to understand what they really mean.

From there--and this will likely be 10 years down the road--we will finally have context.

And this numerical context will finally let us know who was truly great, steroids or no.

From a moral standpoint: Look, I'm not a moron - I know steroids had a huge part in shaping the statistical history of MLB's last two decades. But I also believe that the players are no more guilty than the owners, the union, and the commissioner in allowing their use to be as prevalent as it was.

Steroid use undoubtedly provided an unfair advantage. I also believe their use was not only condoned, but encouraged.

I think this middle-ground opinion and time will be the things that get those tangled up in the steroid era to their proper place in history.

Gen X Radio

2010-07-21T08:22:00.003-05:00

It's hard to find stuff I actually want to listen to on the radio, and my commute is too short to justify hooking up my iPod and looking for something good on it.

The Buzz is ostensibly what I'd listen to, at least if I wanted to hear Spoon's The Underdog for the eleventy billionth time or the Chili Peppers rhyme syllables with words (hey-o / say-o) or the morning crew do a set-up skit about roses.*

*You do know that almost everything you hear on a morning show--the calls, the fights--is a setup, right? It's been planned in advance. The people on the phone are being paid.

So I hit seek a couple times and ended up at 99.7 FM. It's now billing itself as "Gen X radio", which I find a bit patronizing. However, I figured I'd give it a shot.

I tuned in during Fiona Apple's Criminal. Okay. Fine (though overplayed) song. This could go one of two directions.

Next was Tal Bachman's She's So High. Yeah, they're going that direction. Poppy 90s stuff. Great. Well, I'll give them one more shot...

Who Let The Dogs Out.

Really. I actually waited about 10 seconds because I figured it was some sort of commercial for a pet shelter.

It wasn't.

Done.

Beer Roundup Continued

2010-07-19T10:29:00.008-05:00

A few more beers to get out there:

Ska Modus Hoperandi India Pale Ale

Ska Ten Pin Porter

The first Ska beer I had was their Red Ale, and it was utterly boring. Never one to give up on a brewery for one crummy beer, I picked up a six pack of Modus Hoperandi. This is a good IPA, though I’ll admit I can detect no subtlety in that style of beer. They all taste roughly the same to me, with some being weaker and not-so-good (Red Hook, Tallgrass) and others being bigger and more flavorful (Bell’s Two Hearted, Great Divide Titan). This beer falls into the better side of that comparison. You could put Titan, Modus Hoperandi, and Lagunitas in front of me and I probably couldn’t tell which was which. It’s better out of a glass (naturally), but isn’t too shabby out of a can either. The can makes it a good choice for tailgating or float trips. $7.99/6 pack CANS

The Ten Pin Porter is a good beer, but just an okay porter. I like a balanced porter, and this one fits that bill. Some malt sweetness, some coffee and chocolate notes, some hops. Definitely worth a try in a make-your-own sixer application; not worth an entire sixer when there are so many better choices out there (including Bell’s, Anchor, Founders, Bully!, Cutthroat, Avery…). $8.99/6 pack

Rogue St. Rogue Dry-Hopped Red

I’ve found that a hoppy red is one of my favorite summer beers, and this one does not disappoint. It’s a nice-looking amber/red color. The taste starts nicely balanced (not sweet, not bitter) and finishes with a crisp, dry hop flavor. Hence the name. This one is a good beer…but if you like this style and can still find Odell Red (it was a late spring seasonal), do that instead. I slightly prefer the Odell anyway, and it was selling for $8/six pack while I paid $12.49 for this Rogue.

Odell St. Lupulin

Speaking of Odell, their summer seasonal is out now. St. Lupulin is an “Extra Pale Ale”, and it’s delicious. Hoppy, with an interesting lightly sweet (but not overwhelming) flavor. It’s not a sweet beer by any means…I can’t figure out a good way to describe it. It’s a Pale Ale with a little something I can’t quite identify. Bull @ KC Beer Blog did a nice back story to the beer last week. I had it on tap at Barley’s a couple weeks ago, and Dish Pizza in Liberty carries it (though I may have had their last bottle Tuesday night). $7.99 to $8.99/6 pack

Southampton Abbot 12

I drank a bunch of good beer when I was in New York last month, but I haven’t bothered reviewing any of them because I made it a point not to drink any beers you can get in Kansas City, and why should I just brag about all the stuff I got to try that you didn’t? Well, I’m making an exception for Southampton Abbot 12.
I was in Manhattan for a training/licensing seminar the week after Memorial Day. My wife came along so we could do some vacationing as well. While I was there, my company called and informed me I needed to stay there to audit a school district. This left me with a good part of the weekend to kill by myself, so I drove out to Southampton Public House, did a beer sampler, and picked up a couple 750ml bottles to take home.
One of these was the Abbot 12, a quadrupel. It looked amazing, smelled amazing, and tasted PHENOMENAL. When my wife and I took our first sip, we looked at each other and just gave each other the silent “whoa” expression. Two more sips in, and she was getting sad because we couldn’t get the beer in Kansas City. This beer was just stunning. Caramelly, a little spicy, a little…figgy? Very complex and interesting. A wonderful special occasion beer; truly one of the best beers I’ve ever had. TRY IT if you have a chance. $12/750ml bottle

My wife was saddened by the bottle’s emptiness:

Tantrum Improv Comedy with Bryn Donovan, Author of "An Experienced Mistress" - Friday @ 8pm

2010-07-15T15:08:00.003-05:00

Date: Friday, July 16, 2010
Time: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Westport Coffeehouse
Street: 4010 Pennsylvania
City/Town: Kansas City, MO

There's only one place to see KC's most interesting personalities live, unscripted and uncensored: the Tantrum show on Fridays at the Westport Coffeehouse. Our special guests will tell true stories based on audience suggestions, and Tantrum's team of professional improvisers will spin them into scenes.

Joining us in July:

Bryn Donovan is a poet, a writer and the newly published author of An Experienced Mistress. Her romance novel features a smart, funny painter-chick...the hot, charming ex-soldier who falls for her...and some fantastically written love scenes that make us blush if we think about them too hard. She lives in Kansas with her romantic husband and their goofy golden retrievers.

Tantrum with Bryn Donovan
Tickets: $10
Will almost certainly contain adult material.

Call 816-678-8886 for reservations.

Get to know Bryn: http://bryndonovan.blogspot.com
Get to know Tantrum: http://www.tantrumkc.com

(The Appearance of) Diversity in Education

2010-07-14T11:12:00.006-05:00

I got this postcard from Johnson County Community College, and I thought the forced diversity depicted in the student photos was rather funny.

Sorry the pictures are lousy…but here’s what we’ve got:

-Asian girl
-White guy
-Middle Eastern girl
-Black guy
-Hispanic guy
-White girl
-Black guy

A veritable Rainbow Coalition, eh?

From their own website:
Female students make up 54 percent of the student body. About 16.5 percent are non-Caucasian.

In other words, 71.4% (postcard), 16.5% (reality).

I think I like this commercial even better, as it divides time equally between academic programs and jackass students messing with their mobile devices.

Dude at the end giving the “what’s up” shrug and going right back to the phone…exactly how does that sell your school?

(Dotte aside: I wish I could find the KCKCC commercial online. It's even lower budget, if you can imagine that. It consists of a white guy, black guy, Asian girl, and Hispanic girl, each slowly turning to the camera. The two guys were menacing as HELL, mugging 'Dotte style for all to see. Oh - and one of the quotes at the bottom of the screen used the word 'exiciting'.)

Overdue Beer Roundup

2010-07-12T11:14:00.009-05:00

I haven’t done one of these in a while, so I figure it’s about time. As requested, I added the price I paid.

Lagunitas Imperial Red (2009)
First things first: I opened one of the bottles from the previous post. It was still rather tasty and drinkable, but there were little hints of “off” flavors that indicate it was showing its age a bit. That, or I was really trying to find them. Either way, I’m not throwing it out. I wish they brewed it again this year. $8.99/6 pack

UPDATE: The 2nd bottle I had was more or less ruined. Definitely not right. I won't be going back to Lukas any time soon.

O’Fallon Wee Heavy
This is a Scotch ale, and a potent one at that – it comes in a hair over 10%. Virtually zero carbonation. Syrupy and a bit overwhelming. It would be an okay sipper in November in front of the fire, but not this time of year. Overall, just too much if you’re not in the mood for brandy. I struggled to finish a half-bottle. Great Divide’s Claymore Scotch Ale is a much better, more drinkable choice. $7.99/4 pack.

Crown Valley Big Bison Ale (Belgian Dubbel)

Flying Dog Garde Dog (Biere de Garde)

I put these together for a reason.

Crown Valley is a winery in St. Genevieve, MO that recently got into the brewing business. They’ve been in KC for maybe a month. There were four or five styles to choose from at the liquor store. I picked up some Big Bison Ale because it was marketed as a Belgian Dubbel, one of my favorite styles. It barely resembled some of the Dubbels I know and love. The yeast flavor wasn’t right, the toffee/caramel finish wasn’t there…the flavors simply lacked the depth and complexity that usually bring a smile to my face with a good Belgian.

Flying Dog typically disappoints me; I like their Gonzo Imperial Porter and that’s about it. I tried a bottle of this as part of a make-your-own six-pack, so I figure my risk was minimized. It had the nice, unfiltered look, but didn’t really deliver any complexity.

Both beers are simply cheap versions of Belgian (ok, Bd’G is French) styles that taste…well, kinda cheap. They’re not horrible beers, but they’re not good examples of the styles they purport to represent. It’s as if both beers need full-on recipe tweaking, along with some time. Hell, Biere de Garde literally means “Beer to Keep”; in other words, it’s a brew that is supposed to age somewhat.

Both are $7.99/6 pack. If you want a cheap Belgian dubbel, buy New Belgium’s Abbey for the same price. If you want a very good, mid-priced dubbel, get a 4-pack of North Coast’s Brother Theolonious or Ommegang’s Abbey Ale for about $10. For Biere de Garde, there aren’t many choices in KC. Schlafly does a decent job with a 750ml bottle for $7.49. An alternative would be to try the similar but less sweet Belgian Saison (such as Saison DuPont).

Lagunitas Undercover Investigation Shutdown Ale
This would be something akin to an Imperial ESB (Extra Special Bitter). Huge hops, huge bitter flavor. It’s still around in most liquor stores despite being a spring seasonal. Delicious beer, but you only need one at 9.7% ABV. Recommended, unless you just got done playing softball in 90º heat. Then it’s a bit much. $8.99/6 pack.

I've got a couple more I'll add when I have a chance.

Lukas Liquor Superstore: A Word Of Caution

2010-07-08T13:27:00.003-05:00

Last year, one of my favorite beers was Lagunitas' Imperial Red Ale. Hoppy, rich, super flavorful, and only about $8.99 per six-pack made it a great find AND a great bargain.

I've been on the lookout for it this year as well, but I hadn't seen any until this past weekend. My wife and I made a trip to Lukas Liquor Superstore at 135th and State Line to check the selection. We're closer to the one at 119th and Metcalf, but the Missouri store has a somewhat larger selection due to a larger number of breweries licensed to distribute there.

Sure enough, as we made it to the back of the store, two six-packs of the good stuff were sitting there on the shelf.

I was happy, but the fact that Lagunitas beers are just about everywhere these days made me a bit suspicious that I hadn't seen the Imperial Red anywhere else in the Metro.

(That, and two different people have told me they have found a lot of old beer on Lukas' shelves.)

I looked at the bottles for clues only to find a lengthy serial number stamped on each with no obvious "code" to determine the brew date.

After picking up a couple other treats, we headed to the cashier. I asked if there was any way to make sure this wasn't left over from last year. She emphatically told me there was no way this could be left over from last year; they keep a very tight inventory and there's no way it would be old.

Fair enough; off I went with my beer.

Most who know me would understand I could not leave it at this.

I emailed Lagunitas:

I'm a fan of Lagunitas out here in Kansas City.

I've been looking around for the Imperial Red this year, and I hadn't seen it...until I happened to find some last night.

Problem is, I get the sneaking suspicion it's left over from last year.

So I thought I'd ask:

1. When did you last brew the Imperial Red?

2. If this is an old batch, how does it hold up to aging?

It was one of my favorites last year, so I won't throw it out unless you tell me it's going to be hella skunky.

In the meantime, the Undercover Shutdown will keep me company.

Sincerely,
(jjskck)

The response (emphasis mine):

Hello (jjskck),

We have not brewed the Imperial Red since last year. It should hold up well if the storage conditions were good. For obvious reasons, I cannot guarantee that it was stored properly or that there were no temperature changes in storing the beer.

I would suggest that you open one up and see.

Hope this helps….

Cheers!

David
Lagunitas Brewing Co.

I haven't tasted the beer yet, since I'm in the process of finishing a sixer of Rogue's dry-hopped red. But that's not the point.

The point is: if you're shopping at Lukas, you should check your beer to make sure you're getting fresh stuff.

Two Dwindling Industries

2010-07-07T13:59:00.002-05:00

I was at dinner with my wife and my mom last night. My wife reminded me that we needed to pick up stamps, and my mom asked whether we had seen that stamps were set to rise in price again.

“They’re going to put themselves out of business.”

Well, possibly, but a two-cent increase in the price of stamps isn’t going to be what does it. I still believe $0.46 is an incredible bargain to send a letter anywhere in these United States, and some things still call for more formality than email. Also, there are still plenty of entities who use direct mail advertising via the USPS.

Ironically, the slow fade of the USPS will benefit from the rapid decline of the newspaper.

Retailers are now pulling their weekly circulars from the daily newspaper, opting instead for direct mail.

When I stopped at Hyvee over lunch, the sign on their door said something like, “For your convenience, our weekly ad will be mailed directly to you beginning July 7.”

Walgreens is about to start doing the same, and I’ve noticed several other retailers no longer appear in the Sunday paper.

The downward spiral for newspapers began some time ago, but that vortex has accelerated dramatically.

It’s a familiar pattern: starting in the 1960s, the KCK population base began to erode. This was followed by an increase in tax rates. More people left, creating a smaller (and less wealthy tax base); therefore, taxes rose again. Repeat this for about 40 years and you’ll see why they’re in the bind they’re in.

Same thing with the newspaper: the circulation dipped, and manpower (and therefore content) was reduced in response. This resulted in even fewer subscribers, and therefore fewer advertisers, which resulted in further staff layoffs until you’re left with…well, the paper we have today.

I love the Star. There has been a newspaper in my house since I was born.

I just don’t know how much longer they can hold on.

The Burnt Bridge

2010-06-22T14:32:00.006-05:00

The following was emailed to everyone in my company, which amounts to several hundred people. The author works in a different city, and I've never met him. I can only assume the author will not get a positive reference in the future. Identifying info removed.

Also, whose fault is it that this person didn't read the employee manual before leaving? Isn't that a no-brainer?

To my shock, after giving notice and having an HR interview, I was never informed of the information below.

Per the (Company) Policy Manual, we do not pay out for unused vacation time unless an associate is employed for at least 18 months. Our Policy states:

“If an associate’s employment terminates for any reason after the associate has been employed by (The Company) for at least eighteen (18) months, the associate will be entitled to pay for vacation which has accrued but which has not been taken. Vacation pay is based on regular base pay.”

Now I believe in professionalism (ed. note: Really? Keep reading.), but I also think the policy above is used to punish employees that do not stay longer than 18 months.

Everyone should know that ANY employee of (The Company) that have been with the company for less than 18 months and are considering leaving for another opportunity, are not entitled to be paid for, or allowed to take accrued vacation.

This is the only company I have ever work for that has this kind of policy (the policy is backed by the department of labor).

In my opinion, if you have less that 18 months service You Should not give any Notice Period it is not required and you gain nothing by giving notice. I would go as far as to say, use all accrued vacation before handing in your notice or quiting.

I wish you all luck and the very best for the future,
(Person Who Quit)

OK Go Still Makes Good Videos

2010-06-22T10:34:00.003-05:00

This one is for their song End Love.

The creative use of timelapse and one epic goose make for yet another brilliant video.

“The fastest we go is 172,800x, compressing 24 hours of real time into a blazing 1/2 second. The slowest is 1/32x speed, stretching a mere 1/2 second of real time into a whopping 16 seconds. This gives us a fastest to slowest ratio of 5.5 million. If you like averages, the average speed up factor of the band dancing is 270x. In total we shot 18 hours of the band dancing and 192 hours of LA skyline timelapse – over a million frames of video – and compressed it all down to 4 minutes and 30 seconds! Oh and don’t forget, it’s one continuous camera shot.”
-Jeff Lieberman [Director]

The Wedding

2010-06-18T14:54:00.020-05:00

I am now married! Yes, it happened 6 weeks ago...and yes, I’m just now writing about it.

We got married on 5-5-10 at El Dorado Royale, an adults-only “gourmet inclusive” resort located about 25 minutes south of the Cancun airport. We were joined by 16 family members and friends. I’m going to go out on a limb and say everyone had a great time.

For anyone even a little bit interested in a destination wedding, I highly recommend it. To take it a step further: if you KNOW anyone who is getting married, I would plant the proverbial bug in their ear and say, “Have you thought about a destination wedding?“ Because it was a whole lot of fun.

If you’re going to do it, you’re not going to do any better than our resort.

All the details are handled professionally, the place is gorgeous, and all your food (oh, the food) and drinks are included.

It’s an interesting process. You reserve a date and pay a small deposit. Then, you go through and select all the details: flowers, aisle runners, chairs, etc. Instead of contacting 15 different vendors, you can handle it all online. It’s as if you’re shopping on Amazon.com…

Turquoise chair covers? I need 12…*update quantity*…done. Photographer? Yes, please.

It seemed a little strange at first, but once we got down there we found that a highly competent wedding coordinator was handling all the details. We went through a checklist item by item to make sure everything matched up.

The setup was quite nice:

The wedding itself was perfect, and I know everyone says things like that, but I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better ceremony, better treatment, or a more beautiful setting.

We got married as the sun was setting, hence the difference in light levels:

Besides the ceremony itself, there were all sorts of little extras that the resort adds for weddings, honeymoons, and anniversaries. Examples:

Our jacuzzi, decorated on our wedding night

Breakfast in bed the next morning, which included...rack of lamb?!?

Candlelight dinner on the beach, including a custom dessert

The resort advertises itself as “gourmet inclusive”. This means all the food is both delicious and beautifully presented. They have 7 different restaurants, each of which serves a different type of cuisine.

The restaurant in the main lobby serves a breakfast spread that is just a perfect way to start your day. Everything from fresh papaya and pomegranates to empanadas and wedges of expensive cheese…you know, if you’re tired of all the chorizo, bacon, and cinnamon French toast with maple-infused whipped cream.

The dinners are all a la carte, and you can order as many courses as you want. If you’re in a group, you can even ask the server to bring out a sampler of everything and the chef will happily oblige.

Though the beer selection is limited to Mexican labels, you can drink premium spirits and crazy blender drinks all day. Their house wine isn’t bad either.
Most of all, it’s a wonderful opportunity to get a group of people together and go on a nice, grown-up vacation. How often do you get to do THAT?

Since we had 11 people willing to go, we were able to take a private tour of Chichen Itza:

Followed by an incredibly refreshing swim in a cenote (sinkhole).

There’s even horseback riding onsite:

All in all, it was an amazing experience. I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to get married next to the ocean in a tropical climate with delicious food, great friends, and waking up to this on the morning of your wedding.

Operation Bedding, Or: How I Became Outraged Right Before Memorial Day

2010-05-28T09:43:00.004-05:00

As I was leaving for work today, I saw a news spot on Operation Bedding.

Adam Conboy, a soldier serving in Iraq, called his mother, Mary, one Sunday. She asked if there was anything she could send him. He said he could use some sheets and pillows...and asked if there was any way she could send these supplies for the other 40 members of his company.

This request caught Mary off guard, so Adam chuckled and said, "Get Operation Bedding going, Mom."

Adam was killed 5 days later.

In his memory, his mother quit her job and devoted herself full time to ensuring our troops get to experience some of the little comforts of home.

It's a bittersweet story, illustrating the sacrifices of war and the outpouring of support that comes in the wake of those sacrifices.

But seeing this story also made me angry.

Why?

The reason this soldier was asking for sheets and pillows is because THEY WERE NOT PROVIDED SHEETS OR PILLOWS. He and his fellow soldiers were sleeping on bare mattresses.

Let me get this straight, government--you have troops in a foreign land, risking their lives, paying them squat while they're away from their families...and you can't spring for $25 worth of bedding so maybe they can get a decent night's sleep?

Our prison population is provided bedding. Hell, the ACLU would be all over the penal system if this weren't the case (rightly so, IMO), yet our soldiers have to rely on charity for the same privilege.

Operation Bedding is a noble cause doing wonderful work, but it shouldn't have to exist.

Seeing the story was a reminder that all of our soldiers make daily sacrifices, from small to large to unspeakable.

Keep them in your thoughts this weekend.

Farewell, 24

2010-05-24T13:01:00.001-05:00

Tonight marks the two-hour series finale of 24. I’m really sad to see it go.

I have watched the show from the beginning, intrigued by its gimmick: 24 one-hour episodes, ostensibly in “real time”. I was hooked immediately.

The suspense, the twists, the doublecrosses, the assassinations…I’ve seen them all. I’ve lived through both of the Palmer administrations. President ~~Nixon~~ Logan’s impeachment and fall from grace. President Taylor throwing her punkass daughter in jail. Dennis Hopper with a horrible Russian accent. And yes, Jack's daughter getting caught in a friggin' BEAR TRAP.

(Honestly, this last thing was probably the best thing they ever did with Elisha Cuthbert's character. The most common refrain among 24 fans was how dreadfully annoying Kim Bauer was.)

At its peak, the show became a huge hit. I was something analogous to the hipster who “discovered it first”, though I never abandoned the show when it became popular. There were just more people to discuss it with.

Interestingly, the writers of the show do not write the entire season at once. They write some storylines, shoot episodes, then make decisions from there. This stemmed from the first season, when the creators weren’t sure whether the show would catch on or if it would be cancelled at midseason. They had to have a contingency plan so they could tie the series up if Fox did not pick up more than the original 10 or 12 episodes.

Despite lukewarm ratings at first, Fox had faith in the show and its concept. It paid off in spades. Jack Bauer is now a pop culture icon; most everyone knows the name even if they’ve never seen a single episode of the show. Fox also figured out the best way to run a serial drama is nonstop: the last several seasons, the show has had a 4-hour Sunday/Monday kickoff with no shortage of action, thus getting people hooked. This was followed by a new episode every week without taking a break. No reruns, dammit.

To be fair, the show is a demanding one to follow. Like any serial drama, context and backstories are extremely important. Unlike Law & Order or CSI, an episode of 24 is not a story in and of itself. There is no beginning, middle and end wrapped up with a tidy bow at the end of an hour.

The show also requires a major suspension of disbelief. The world of Jack Bauer is a world where cell phones never die, one can get all the way across Los Angeles or New York in less than 10 minutes, big moments happen every hour on the hour, and there is nothing that a 5’-10”, 140lb. man can’t do; no one he can’t kill.

But damn, the stories are fascinating. My jaw still drops at least once an episode.

And although I will sincerely miss 24, I can’t wait to see how they go out tonight.

Saturday: Open House for Architecture / Green Living Buffs

2010-05-12T16:15:00.004-05:00

First things first: the wedding was fantastic! It truly couldn't have gone any better. I'll post something when I have time to do it justice.

Instead, just a quick note: Studio 804, a group comprised of architecture grad students at KU, has an annual design-build project every year.

This year, they are constructing a LEED Platinum home in KCK. Besides extensive insulation, the vast majority of the heating and cooling is done passively (i.e. not mechanically).

The open house takes place this Saturday, May 15, from 10:00am-3:00pm.

It is located at 32 S 16th Street. Make a day of it and have some Mexican food on Central Avenue!

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Weekend Recap

2010-04-26T10:07:00.003-05:00

What a weekend.

I went to the Flaming Lips show Friday night. My level of busy-ness in recent weeks and the threat of nasty weather caused me to be less than stoked for this show.

That was a mistake.

The Flaming Lips, if you like their music even a tiny bit, are a must-see. Their show is just a visual and sonic onslaught on your senses. Fabulous stuff. It is a truly joyful experience.

I didn't care much for the Dead Weather, Jack White's current project. He's the drummer for the band, and all the energy and charisma he brings to a show is wasted when he's at the back of the stage behind a drum kit.

Those were the only two bands we saw, as the show started at 4:15pm and we didn't have 7+ hours of music in us.

Saturday was my bachelor party, and it was a blast. BBQ was ingested, beer was consumed, and we may have seen a couple things not appropriate for a family blog. It was wonderful to just be taken care of for an evening. Thanks to all who came out, particularly my brother Jarod and brother-from-another-mother Pete for organizing everything. I couldn't have asked for/hoped for a better time.

And speaking of bachelorhood, this will be my final post as a single man. I am going to marry the love of my life next week.

I am beyond happy.

I am beyond excited.

I never thought I could have it so good.

I occasionally have that wonderful Talking Heads "Once In a Lifetime" moment--you know, the beautiful house, beautiful wife, how did I get here moment?

She's how I got here. She has changed my life immeasurably, and I never want to be without her.

Head v. Heart: The Economy Edition, Pt. 3

2010-04-15T10:01:00.007-05:00

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

There are people with obvious advantages. Dad owns a business; son is hired as a manager. Family is wealthy; daughter’s college years are paid for.

People like me had less tangible and less obvious advantages; however, ultimately these are the most important ones.

I didn’t have a lot in terms of material items or wealth. My advantages came in the expectations placed upon me, both internal and external.

My mom nurtured my intellectual curiosity, starting when I was a toddler. My dad provided for our family.

They both expected me to behave. For the most part, I did.

They both expected me to succeed. For the most part, I have.

I had high-quality teachers for most of my classes, from kindergarten through high school.

I chose friends, consciously or not, who wouldn’t steer me down a dangerous path. When I found a friend who tried, I quietly distanced myself from him.

Most of all, I expected myself to succeed.

So why the soft spot for those whose lives get derailed?

Because most kids who grew up where I grew up didn’t have these advantages.

EXPECTATIONS:

When my brother graduated from Schlagle (KCK) in 2000, the friends and family of many of the graduates made huge spectacles of themselves as the names were called. It annoyed the hell out of me at the time…but not long after, I realized: a lot of these kids would be the first in the families to graduate high school. Not college. HIGH SCHOOL. Getting through the 12th grade was a monumental achievement for a lot of those kids.

Also of note? The valedictorian had a 3.5 GPA. Seriously. Out of 250 graduates, in the age of AP courses with extra grade points attached, the top graduate had a 3.5.

Another example--when I was a substitute teacher my last semester of college, I distinctly remember my first day teaching high school. I was at Wyandotte High, and we had those Scantron attendance forms to track attendance.

There were 27 kids enrolled in my first hour Spanish class. As I called attendance, only 13 were present. The other 14 had been “bubbled out” on the Scantron form for two weeks.

Point being, over half the class had dropped out of school.

That was in 1998. Things have only gotten worse.

Sumner Academy is a double-edged sword for the KCK school district, in my opinion. Yes, it provides a great educational opportunity for the top 20% of the district, but it robs the other four high schools of talent that is sorely needed to push other students and set examples.

KCK’s graduation rate is 49%, and that INCLUDES Sumner’s 90%+ rate.

Blue Valley is at 99%. Expectations, people.

Result: If you aren’t expected to graduate, you probably won’t.

ENVIRONMENT:
The inner city culture, by and large, does not promote education. In fact, school is often ridiculed as a waste of time (and money, if you’re talking about college). If you thought studious kids got picked on in suburban schools….

And never mind that money for college is available in abundance to low-income kids--if a kid is told he’s too dumb for college even once, that kid probably never has the confidence to bother.

Besides, what wins out when you’re 16: the teacher you think is a punk, telling you about Pell Grants? Or your friends who have already dropped out of school and drive cars financed by bags of weed and “pre-owned” Alpine car stereos?

Forget about having a long-term perspective. No one has more than a year of foresight at age 16.

Do you see how early and easily a life can start to derail?

At least 6 kids around my age (that I know of) who grew up within a couple blocks of me were felons before they turned 20, and these are just the ones who got caught. One of them shot and killed someone. Another was shot and killed by someone else.

I can’t begin to count how many have given their lives to drugs.

Result: When education is not valued, something else is valued in its place. That alternative is not likely to be very good.

POSITIVE EXAMPLES:

Based on family income, some children qualify to have their school lunch costs reduced or waived completely.

The percentage of kids in the Shawnee Mission School District receiving free or reduced lunch is 21%.

Olathe? 13%

Blue Valley? 4.3%

Before I start, no one is claiming life is rosy for every kid in the suburbs. Far from it.

However, in terms of having a path to becoming the proverbial “productive member of society”, even the least wealthy of these kids have some or all of the advantages I did.

They have an educational system with high expectations and graduation rates. That’s institutional support.

They are much more likely to have parents who expect them to succeed; their mere presence in the superior suburban schools is at least in part due to their parents consciously moving there. That’s familial support.

The vast majority of these kids are not surrounded by drug dealers and gangs, digging their claws into them and pulling them out of the classroom. That’s societal support.

The poor in Johnson County are surrounded by people who have made good lives for themselves. Over half of the adult population has at least a bachelor’s degree. Those are examples to which they can aspire.

90% of the KCK district is on free or reduced lunch. Yep. NINE out of TEN kids.

A family of 4 must gross less than $40k to get reduced lunch (and $28k to get free lunch).

Think about that for a second.

Socioeconomic cues, while not all-important, are still significant. When the family is scraping, it’s because the parents have not found gainful employment. They have not found gainful employment because…well, because of the reasons above. They weren’t expected to succeed or get educated (less than 12% of KCK adults have bachelor’s degrees). They didn’t have the role models—the good examples…which means they tend not to be good examples themselves. The people next door, across the street, and down the street are all in the same boat.

Thus perpetuating the cycle. Where are those kids’ examples?

That’s the reason I can’t be angry about subsidizing things—health insurance, college, housing—for those who didn’t get the best breaks.

It’s not all their fault. Most of the people who will read this are unaware of what some people have to deal with to even make it to adulthood unscathed.

If you didn’t grow up in the sort of environment I've described, you’re fortunate.

It’s a 99% positive thing for you. Just know the 1% downside is comprised exclusively of YOU DON’T F*&@ING GET TO ACT AS IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GROW UP UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I’ve seen it. Hell, I was surrounded by it. And it really affected my perspective.

I can’t lavish a world of blame on people for poor decisions made that early in life based on such faulty cues and information.

Do I agree with all government programs? Absolutely not. Do people abuse the “system”? Sure.

But when it comes down to it, I prefer to judge my society based on how it treats its least fortunate citizens—not its wealthiest.

And as tax day cometh in America, I’m happy to pay my share.

Head v. Heart: The Economy Edition, Pt. 2

2010-04-14T15:44:00.005-05:00

(Continued from here)

Quick background: I grew up in Kansas City, KS and lived there until last June. I never lived in an area that I would consider full-blown “ghetto” for KCK, but that’s all relative: those from JoCo call far nicer areas of their county “ghetto” without a hint of irony, so keep that in mind.

I attended Kansas City, KS schools and graduated from Sumner Academy.

Socioeconomically, it’s hard to say where we stood. Relative to those around us, we were probably near the middle. (Again, emphasis on "relative".) We were a single income family until my youngest brother was old enough to be in school all day (I was 13 or 14 at the time). At that point, my mom dove into getting her teaching degree and subbed along the way. She graduated college a year or two before I graduated high school.

My dad, who is now retired, did grueling work as a laborer at a sand and gravel quarry. He was an incredibly hard worker, probably to a fault (dude – bronchitis means you should probably stay home).

I say all this to give you perspective. I didn’t usually get the things I wanted. I always got the things I needed. I never went hungry. We didn’t have extra money at the end of the month, but (unless they did a great job of hiding it) we weren’t upside down either.

Result: I appreciate all of life’s little luxuries that I enjoy now—steak instead of Hamburger Helper, Great Divide instead of Natty Light--more than most people. My tastes still haven’t even bothered with life’s big luxuries.

My father was a great example of the importance of work and earning an honest living. My mother was a great example of budgeting and handling money responsibly. Of course, I didn’t understand or appreciate any of this as a selfish youngster, but it definitely rubbed off.

Result: My mom taught me not to spend frivolously, and to keep track of where my money was going. I’ve never bounced a check, even in my broke-est college days. I’ve been late on a utility bill only once in my life. Though I’m half the worker my father is/was, I treat my job with respect and do what it takes to maintain a high standing at the office.

Sumner Academy is a magnet high school (grades 8-12) in KCK. It is a public school, but you must be invited to attend. This invitation was based entirely on standardized test scores when I was there; my understanding is that they’ve added some GPA and behavioral considerations in recent years.

The focus of Sumner is a college preparatory curriculum. Put another way, your race, background, or socioeconomic status didn’t matter—if you went to Sumner, you were expected to go to college. Your parents expected it, and the faculty expected it. With few exceptions, my entire graduating class at least started college.

Result: From age 13 to age 17, I was more or less surrounded by kids who were going to college and adults who expected me to go to college. It was never a question of IF I would go, but rather WHERE I would go.

I’ve never had a long-term, disabling health problem that has caused me to miss out on significant amounts of income or cough up a huge pile of money. Neither have my parents. This is mostly just good fortune, though the importance of having a job with benefits factors in.

I selected my major (mechanical engineering) partly due to my math/science aptitude and partly due to future employment and salary projections. I will admit up front that I was not at all happy with my career choice for the first 7 years or so, but it got better after that (and significantly better once I took my current job).

Result: I’m covered if my health heads south, and I have the education and skills that are likely to help me find another good job if I need one.

Now, I would be well within my rights to simply say, “I came from a low-income area. I worked hard. I made something of myself. I made good decisions. Why am I picking up the tab for those who haven’t done those things?”

But there's a reason I don't say those things. I’ll tell you why shortly.

Marcia Merrick

2010-04-13T12:58:00.002-05:00

I read about Marcia Merrick on the Plog yesterday, and it was a great story (featured on NBC Nightly News) about a selfless woman who has prepared and delivered food to homeless people for 40 years. Happy stuff, right?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Well, reality isn't so rosy.

Marcia Merrick herself is on the verge of being homeless.

Victoria Hudgins profiled Marcia and describes her situation--the one that didn't appear on NBC. In a nutshell, she has the option to either buy out her ex-husband's half of their home or move out. She doesn't have anywhere to go. Her alimony is only enough to cover her health insurance premiums.

Bottom line? The story touched me and I wanted to help. I am sending a donation and spreading the story so others, if they feel so compelled, can do the same.

Click here and scroll down for info.

Head v. Heart: The Economy Edition

2010-04-12T16:47:00.002-05:00

Get a job.

Heard that derisive phrase recently? I would guess not, with the jobless rate persistently hovering near 10%. The stigma attached to collecting an unemployment check has evaporated for society as a whole, even if the individual getting the check worries how he or she will be seen.

But what happens in (2? 5?) years when the rate drops back to the level of “full employment”?

Do we go back to making all those unfortunate enough to be assisted by the government feel like second-rate citizens?

This is where my life experiences and circumstances crash into my economic and moral ideologies and make a big ol’ mess.

First off, I am fiscally conservative. My beliefs bear this out, and the way I live my life bears this out.

I despised the bank and auto bailout plans (though it now appears it will cost us far less than originally thought). The thought of rescuing individuals who leveraged themselves to the hilt to buy houses and toys with asinine credit “products” makes my stomach churn.

I believe in the antiquated notion of balanced budgets, be they individual or federal. My fianceé and I practice what we preach. Aside from our (15 year) mortgage, we have zero debt. We live well, but we live below our means. We save and invest a substantial portion of our incomes. We have both made thoughtful career decisions (education and job changes) to enable us to earn healthy salaries.

However--and this is key-—we have three major things going for us:

-We have had no unfortunate interruptions in our earnings

-We educated ourselves on the finer points of personal finance, which gave us the know-how to build this type of life for ourselves

-We had internal and external expectations (and examples) that led us to do the things that made this type of life possible

This is where the empathy comes in.

This is why the first 34 years of my life--surrounded by unintended consequences, abysmally low expectations, bad examples, and sketchy education--made me understand that we don’t all have the same road to the good life.

This is why I believe strongly in financial responsibility, yet have a difficult time finding fault in government programs that benefit the poor.

To be continued…

Long Time, No Blog

2010-04-07T13:05:00.003-05:00

Yeah, so...life's been happening the last couple of weeks. Between wedding planning (we leave in 3 weeks!), houseguests last weekend, a trip to Staten Island last week, and trying to get a roof contract wrapped up, there's been little time to write.

However, I figured I should share this.

Here at work, we had to take an online ethics training course. It was fairly ridiculous, with lousy voiceover actors talking about how they might have a hot inside stock tip, or maybe a country club membership if the other lousy voiceover actor could just make sure that contract gets signed or that PO pushed back into last fiscal year.

It was an hour of inanity I'll never get back.

Now, full disclosure here: I'm a dynamite test taker. I'm sure this won't apply to many of you out there, but I think I could have answered all these questions without even listening to the lousy actors. You're welcome to try.

If you learn that laws or regulations have been violated, you should:

( ) wait and see if anyone finds out about it.

( ) make sure you're not involved and get rid of any troublesome documents before a real investigation starts.

( ) report it to your supervisor or through appropriate Company channels immediately.

( ) launch your own investigation to gather more information and to avoid wasting the Company's time.

A coworker has recently made jokes about shooting up the Company. He seems angry a lot. What should you do?

( ) Transfer to a different department.

( ) Talk to him and try to calm him down.

( ) Make a note of it so there's a record in case something happens.

( ) Report the jokes to management.

What should you do if you notice a safety hazard in the workplace?

( ) Take steps necessary to keep the hazardous condition from affecting others and report it to your supervisor.

( ) Review the MSDS and try to work around it.

( ) Fix it yourself.

( ) Keep quiet unless someone else notices.

A Great Friday In the West Bottoms: Inland Sea Wines + R Bar

2010-03-24T19:24:00.007-05:00

Last week, I got the weekly "things to do" email from Present Magazine. In their listings for Friday night was a tasting at Inland Sea Wines, located in the old Livestock Exchange Building at 1600 Gennessee.

It took a second to click, but then I realized I had read about the operation in this story that appeared in the Star Magazine several months ago. I was intrigued at the time--a guy wants to grow Chardonnay and Malbec...in the Midwest?-- but had forgotten about it. Once I was reminded, I knew I had to give it a try.

As is usually the case, my idea grew legs and started to run. Back in January, I went to see a friend's band (the excellent Red Lefty) at the R Bar. The food was very good, so I figured we could eat dinner there.

I made a reservation, and found out KC's hardest working band The Grand Marquis was playing (and who happen to be playing with the aforementioned Red Lefty Saturday March 27 at the Jackpot in Lawrence).

The night was set!

My fiancee didn't know where we were going, so when we walked into the Livestock Exchange building she looked at me a little funny. If you walk in from the street entrance, you'll understand why--it's an old office building with most of the original architecture intact.

We found Inland Sea's space. There were about 5 people sitting at one table, and a fellow standing behind a small bar. He (the owner, Michael Amigoni) greeted us and started us with a Chardonnay.

You know how most Kansas and Missouri wines are...well, they're pleasant enough, but they don't use the same grapes that they use in California (or France, for that matter)?

Throw those preconceived notions out the window. This wine is fabulous.

This was my favorite Chardonnay I've tasted. As in, out of all of them I've tasted. From everywhere. It wasn't overwhelmingly oaky; Michael explained that it was aged in older barrels that had lost some of their oakiness. It added character without overwhelming it. Great start.

We moved on to a Viognier, a Malbec, a Cabernet Franc, and an Urban Red blend.

All of them were lovely, the Malbec in particular. It was heavier on the fruit notes (Michael described it as "plummy", which is apt) than your average Argentinean bottle.

If you like wine even a little, go check them out. Their tasting room is open from 4pm-7pm on Friday evenings. Michael is passionate about his wine, he is a local producer, and he has great stories about all the work he has put into the vineyard (including the 60,000 prunings he recently made...by hand).

We walked back across the street, dropped off our wine in the car, and stepped into the R Bar. It's in the old Sutera's space across from the Golden Ox.

It's a gorgeous space. They have created a great chef-driven food menu and mixologist-driven drink menu.

They start by bringing you a savory thyme-and-honey doughnut instead of bread service. We had bratwurst with maple-onion chutney to start. For entrees, she ordered diver scallops with bacon and a sweet potato fritter, and I had braised pork with smoked collard greens (!) and polenta. We finished with pecan pie and smoked vanilla ice cream.

Everything was delicious.

Then the Grand Marquis started, and we listened to them while watching a girl in a retro-pin-up-style red dress tear up the dance floor with her partner. Quite impressive, which basically describes our entire evening.

If you care to replicate our Friday, I know that wonderfully offbeat folk duo Drakkar Sauna is playing this week. I would caution you to call for reservations at the R Bar; they tend to be busy on Friday nights.

West Bottoms FTW!

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Nothing Not New

2010-03-18T13:39:00.004-05:00

I was in Phoenix a few weeks ago, and I picked up a copy of their alternative weekly to read on the plane ride home.

I came across an article that completely engrossed me.

Jay Bennett, a 40-year-old copy editor, is currently conducting an experiment. As a self-proclaimed aficionado of popular music, he is devoting each day of 2010 to listening to a new album. Further, he is not allowing himself to listen to any of his previous collection.

This fascinates me, mostly because of the reason he is doing this:

Music editor Martin Cizmar called it "aesthetic atrophy" in this space a month or two ago, defining it as "a wasting away of the ability to appreciate new, different, or avant-garde music . . . An unavoidable consequence of aging, though the process can be slowed through therapeutic episodes of forced exposure to various stimuli."

That's me.

Up until my mid-to-late-twenties, I actively searched for new music. I bought and borrowed CDs constantly. I had my favorites, sure, but I still got excited for new releases. I loved putting down the windows and sliding a new CD into the dash, driving around just to listen. I loved being one of the people others asked when they wanted an opinion on an album, because they knew I had likely heard it.

Now? Not so much. How about you? Do you meet any of the following criteria?

How many of you have had the same damn 10 CDs in your car for the past month? How many of you have an iPod playlist of your favorite 200 songs that rarely gets updated? How many of you have a friend who has burned for you a CD by a new or lesser-known artist and said, "I think you'd really like this," (because your friends are supposed to understand you, right?) only for you to listen to three songs before you go back to that beat-up copy of your favorite CD from your senior year in college? How many of you pretty much stopped remaining current when you became immersed in your career or got married or had kids or simply found yourself with less time to devote to music?

Don't feel bad. It happens to everyone, and it will happen to you — if it already hasn't.

Check out the status of his experiments at Nothing Not New.

Dodge City Beef

2010-03-16T12:09:00.005-05:00

Everyone loves a good find.

So when we drove through downtown Shawnee and noticed this sign, we knew we had to stop:

Behind this narrow storefront on Johnson Drive is the first retail outpost for Dodge City Beef. They happened to be celebrating their grand opening this past weekend.

As we walked in the door, the ranch owner Don extended his hand and introduced himself. He described his products in detail for us. They sell dry aged beef with no hormones or antibiotics directly from their own ranch.

He mentioned they had sold beef via mail order for some time, but they decided to try something different. His daughter lives in the area, so she is going to manage the retail store.

They sell everything from ground beef (93% lean is available) to filet mignon, from beef jerky to summer sausage.

We splurged and got several pounds of ground beef, some summer sausage, and two packages of filets.

Sunday night, we grilled up two of the filets. They were outstanding. Delicious, fork-tender, excellent beef.

If you happen to be in northern Johnson County some time, stop in and give their beef a try. You won't be disappointed. They're on Johnson Drive just a half-block west of Nieman. They haven't finalized their hours yet, so give them a call at 913-221-1022 to make sure they're open.

UPDATE: See comments for a generous offer from the store manager!

OK Go Makes Good Videos: Legal Follow-up

2010-03-12T09:00:00.003-06:00

In a previous post, I presented two videos OK Go made for their song This Too Shall Pass.

I was able to embed one version, but not the other. It turns out this is due to restrictions imposed by their (incredibly short-sighted) label.

And the numbers show it: The first video they released, which is a one-take film featuring the Notre Dame marching band, was released January 8, or just over two months ago.

Total views? 1.2 million.

The next was the Rube Goldberg version, released March 1 (less than two WEEKS ago).

Total views? 7.4 million.

In other words, the ability to embed the 2nd version on everyone's website is what accounts for the extra views.

Look, OK Go is known for their music videos. Their choreographed treadmill video for Here It Goes Again is possibly, depending on the source you believe, the most-streamed music video ever.

But Capitol/EMI did not allow embedding of the first version. Why? Lead singer Damian Kulash explains here.

Yet another symptom of how out of touch the dinosaurs known as record labels truly are. It's a quick read, and quite enlightening.

Some Things Don't Mix

2010-03-10T13:26:00.000-06:00

I needed an afternoon snack yesterday. It was time to comb the area to see if anyone had brought in an extra bag of chips or some leftover Valentine’s Day candy.

As I wandered into the break room, I remembered that last Friday the company brought in box lunches from Planet Sub for our meeting. I checked, and sure enough, there were a couple of them left in the community fridge near the training room. They consisted of a sandwich, chips, cookie, and pickle.

Needing only a snack, I opened one of the boxes. A-ha! Peanut butter cookie. All mine. No breach of etiquette; this was all leftover stuff that anyone was welcome to take.

I opened the plastic wrap and broke off one edge of the cookie.

It was friggin’ GOOD. We’re talking a top-notch PB cookie. Soft and chewy, sweet and heavy on the peanut butter flavor.

It didn’t take long to work my way toward the center of the cookie. I was typing an email when I broke off another bite…

…and I had to spit it out.

My face contorted as an odd yet familiar flavor…damn it, NOOOOO!

The cookie was not 100% sealed on the bottom.

Neither was the pickle spear that was also in the box lunch.

You may guess that pickle juice + PB cookie = FAIL. You would be correct.

Add the fact that I hate pickles to begin with, and I was pert near angry at that point.

The cookie was nothing but a tasty Trojan Horse for that nasty, acidic pickle.

Those diabolical cucumbers…this isn’t over.

OK Go Makes Good Videos

2010-03-05T16:22:00.003-06:00

So these have made the rounds on the interwebs the last couple of weeks, but if you haven't seen them it's totally worth a few minutes out of your day.

They made two excellent versions of a video for the same song, "This Too Shall Pass". I really like the song itself, but the videos...you'll just have to watch.

The first is the "RGM" version (Rube Goldberg Machine). I have no idea how many takes this required, but judging from the amount of paint on their coats it was quite a few. That comment will make sense at the end of the video.

The second is a one-take video with the Notre Dame marching band. I can't decide which one I like more. Embedding was disabled, so click on the photo...

...or follow this link.

We bought their album, and it's a really enjoyable blend of pop and funk. Some of it sounds very Prince-like. Check it out some time.

Justus For All

2010-02-26T13:23:00.004-06:00

For Valentine’s Day this year, she took me to Justus Drugstore in Smithville.

In almost 5 years of our quarterly (birthday/Valentine’s/anniversary/birthday) special dinners, this is the first time we’ve repeated a restaurant (previous entry here).

This was done intentionally, as Justus Drugstore has become our favorite.

If you haven’t been there, just go. It’s delicious. Most of the food comes from within a 100-mile radius of Smithville, and the back page of the menu is simply a list of all the local suppliers they use. And their backstory is fascinating.

We started with cocktails; theirs are unique and contain house-infused spirits. It’s fun to watch them be made. She had “Maresy Doatz” (with oatmeal-infused vodka) and I had a Chocolate Malt, which was as rich as Christopher Elbow drinking chocolate but with alcohol. I saved most of it for after dinner.

We had a walleye appetizer, which had a delicious batter and came with a housemade shallot tartar sauce.

We followed with a blue cheese salad and a goat cheese salad, and our entrees were pork two ways (braised pork shoulder and a grilled ribeye chop) and American Kobe beef brisket.

We finished with a winter pie (pastry and compote with black cherry-walnut ice cream) and several other ice creams: a champagne basil sorbet, raspberry ginger, scotchy butter with fig cookies, and chocolate with rose hip.

Every dish was a hit.

This isn’t as descriptive as most of my recaps, mostly because I wrote at length about the place before.

I just think everyone should eat there at least once. It’s wonderful, and surprisingly affordable if you don’t do every single course and/or skip the alcohol. Appetizers and salads run about $10 each, and entrees are in the $20-$28 range (American kobe steaks excepted). You can even do a cheap dessert ($2 for mini-scoops of homemade ice cream, or $3 for full size).

It’s totally worth the trip, and if you order something interesting you might just hear an great story to go with it.

One of the couples on the other side of the partition from us ordered their rabbit special. The chef brought the food out himself and said there was a story behind the dish. As it turns out, the breed of rabbit used in the dish was a gravely endangered species.

The diners no doubt dropped their jaws, and he quickly recovered and reassured them that it was okay. Because rabbit had fallen out of favor from a culinary standpoint, it was becoming unprofitable to breed them. This particular breed, however, had become domesticated to the point that it had no chance of surviving in the wild, so it was in danger of becoming extinct. As it turns out, his restaurant and several others have filled enough orders for breeding to resume, and the "endangered" moniker is about to be lifted.

He said most of the entrees he serves have a story behind them. Maybe your order will come with a tale too.

Winter

2010-02-24T13:32:00.003-06:00

This winter has been ridiculous; no need to rehash that.

It has lingered long enough that I find myself unable to process that it is nearly MARCH.

More specifically: I can look at the thermometer today at lunch (21º) and shiver because the calendar says softball starts...wait for it...two weeks from tomorrow.

Yikes.

Life and Limb

2010-02-22T15:10:00.006-06:00

So, as mentioned here, we had the fortune of obtaining a bottle of Life and Limb, a collaboration between Sierra Nevada and Dogfish Head. Yeah, we just now got around to drinking it. So sue us.

It comes in 24oz. bottles only, if you can find it. As our guy in Minnesota said, the entire state got 5 cases and he got one of them.

It pours a very dark brown. The head was sort of a caramelly brown and it dissipated pretty quickly.

It had a nice roasty smell with some alcohol notes, and you could definitely detect the maple syrup in it. At least, that's what Simon told us...

Overall, I liked the beer. I'm not that great at picking up "notes", so I would describe it as a strong roasty brown ale, plenty of warming alcohol presence (it IS 10% ABV), with a little too much maple syrup on the back end. It also contains birch syrup, but I have no idea what the hell that tastes like. My fiancee likes strong beers, but she did not care for this one. She felt like her palate was being hit over the head with the maple, and I can certainly see how that would be the case.

If you tried the Tommyknocker Imperial Maple Nut Brown when it was around town, this was about the same beer but with a bit more depth and complexity. Considering it costs 3 times as much as that beer ounce-for-ounce, your marginal enjoyment isn't going to compete.

I think this was a reasonably successful collaboration, and I think most people who are into strong ales would like this beer. If this were, say, Boulder Beer Company and Bridgeport, the beer geek world would not have been quite so abuzz. But this was Sierra Nevada and Dogfish Head, two darlings of the industry, so it would have been almost impossible to live up to the hype.

My vote? Give it a try if you come across it, but there's no need to make any crazy multi-state jaunt to get your hands on a bottle. It's just beer.

Gastro-Smut: Claim Jumper

2010-02-17T20:59:00.010-06:00

You may have heard that Missouri State Rep. Matt Bartle is attempting to ban nudity in strip clubs.

Stupid? Yes.
Pandering? Hell yes.

But honestly, is anyone surprised? We've all grown accustomed to puritanical bastards trying to regulate what consenting adults can and cannot do. They preach personal responsibility and then try to divest us of personal choice.

If they really want to make a difference in the world, they should be picketing Claim Jumper, a restaurant chain I visited in Phoenix.

They are proud, slutty-assed purveyors of XXX hardcore food porn. It is not for the faint of heart.

NOTE: I'm royally pissed I did not have a photographic device to truly capture the gluttony and guilt. I have found some photos online of these menu items, but I would have used much better staging to fully demonstrate the scale of this stuff.

I sat down with a couple guys with whom I'm traveling. The menu contained all manner of appetizers, sandwiches, salads, entrees, and desserts. The food looked reasonably interesting, as far as chain fare goes.

The server took our order. One guy ordered a pot pie, and the other ordered a beef stew. I ordered a Jamaican Jerk Chicken Sweetpotato, described thusly:

Jamaican Jerk Chicken Sweetpotato
Slow-roasted and shredded chicken with green onions, red peppers, cilantro, papaya relish, fresh lemon and drizzled with honey

Sounds pretty good, huh? Also, I was craving greens so I ordered:

Organic Spinach Salad
Tossed with crunchy noodles, diced red onions, tomatoes, applewood smoked bacon, feta cheese, glazed pecans, sesame seeds and our signature citrus dressing

Please note that the above is listed as a STARTER SALAD in the menu.

The order is in.

I casually noticed that the party next to us - 2 adults and 2 little kids - had a stack of FIVE full-sized styrofoam to-go containers on their table.

It hadn't registered yet.

I thumbed through the "saloon menu" to see what their goofy specialty cocktails are.

In the back is something I regret ever laying eyes upon...I feel dirty even talking about it.

It was the nutrition information.

Disclaimer: I am a HUGE fan of full nutritional information disclosure. HUGE. I think more info is always a good thing.

I just wish I had seen it before I ordered.

My salad? 1,075 calories, 18 grams of fat.

WHA? For a STARTER SALAD?

Nope, it's worse: the fat content listed was SATURATED FAT ONLY. Not total fat grams; SATURATED ONLY.

For a salad that is this size, but without any actual meat:

That's a 10-inch plate, folks.

Then, my dish came out. Read the description again. Now feast thine eyes:

If you can't tell, that's a whole G.D. jumbo sweet potato (about 1-1/2 lbs. if I had to guess) topped with, well, reasonably healthy stuff, if you don't count the STICK OF BUTTER they added to it.

Mine was 1,424 calories.

My buddy's fresh chicken pot pie? 2,188 calories and 65 grams of SATURATED fat.

But nothing will make your palate rub one out like the full rack of beef ribs: 4,301 calories, 156 grams (that's 5.5 ounces) of SATURATED fat.

Almost as a joke, one of the guys suggested ordering dessert. The other guy seconded it, which left me forced to have a little something. I figured, at worst I'll eat a quarter of a dessert...which was 2,315 calories and 81 grams of saturated fat.

Not even close. Description:

I Declair
Baked fresh daily. Sweet pastry filled with a buttery Bavarian custard and atop vanilla bean ice cream with hot fudge & homemade whipped cream

Someone else's photo:

I shit you not: that thing is the size of an NCAA football. Seriously.

I feel like a filthy whore after eating there. I don't know if I can even face my fiancee when I get home; I'll feel like I've done something I really shouldn't have.

I will clarify--I ate roughly half of my salad and entree, and about 1/8 of the dessert. And, to be honest, the food tasted okay.

But on the other hand, eff you Claim Jumper. Eff you.

Jonah Rocks

2010-02-15T12:19:00.003-06:00

Some of you have probably seen this, but even if you have it's worth checking out again.

Jonah is a five-year-old drummer who is, according to his website, completely self-taught and has never had a lesson.

If this is true, kid is a friggin' prodigy.

Check out this YouTube video of Jonah playing Toxicity by System of a Down (sorry, embedding was disabled).

It's about a 4-minute clip; if you don't have time to watch the whole thing start at the beginning and then skip to about 2:40.

He already makes good drummer faces and knows how to add flair when necessary.

Hard to believe an adorable 5-year-old kid can bring it like this.

A Very Special Tantrum: Improv Meets Bellydance, Friday, 2/12/10

2010-02-09T08:46:00.005-06:00

This Friday, February 12th, we’re proud to present a one-of-a-kind show.

Don’t worry. Tantrum’s improvisers won’t be bellydancing. For that, we’ve got Massive Tassel—one of the city’s most critically acclaimed dance troupes.

First up, Kim Carrington (”Kimmi Tassel”) of Massive Tassel Bellydance joins our list of monologists. She’ll tell stories based on suggestions from the audience, and Tantrum will spin them into scenes made of pure hilarious.

Then the rest of Massive Tassel will join Kimmi for a performance. For those of you unfamiliar with the art, check out this video of the Sword Dance.

So we’ll see you there, right?

Tantrum with Special Guest Kim Carrington of Massive Tassel
Westport Coffeehouse
4010 Pennsylvania • 816-678-8886 for reservations
Friday, February 12 • 8pm • Tickets: $10
May contain adult material.

She's getting ready...

Super Bowl Thoughts

2010-02-08T08:37:00.003-06:00

-The onside kick to begin the 2nd half will likely be the ballsiest thing you'll ever see in a Super Bowl.

-Everyone praised the onside kick because it worked out for the Saints. They would have called it the stupidest thing you'll ever see in a Super Bowl if the Colts recovered.

-Peyton Manning is by far the most valuable player in the NFL. He is the only reason the Colts were in the Super Bowl. There is not a single playmaker on that offense, yet he makes Dallas Clark and Reggie Wayne into Pro Bowlers. The Colts are an 8-win team with, say, Carson Palmer or Eli Manning. With Peyton, they've won at least 12 games SEVEN YEARS in a row.

-Somewhat related to this fact above: if you watched even a little sports coverage in the week preceding the game, you'll hear former NFL players-turned-analysts talk about how Peyton Manning can't be considered the greatest quarterback of all time unless he wins this Super Bowl. How Drew Brees is a very good QB, but becomes an ELITE QB if he wins this game.

It's all about championships for a quarterback.

This one game will determine his legacy.

This argument is STUPID. By this rationale, Trent Dilfer > Dan Marino. (And yes, Dilfer is one of the people making the argument.)

There is no other sport in which a player is more dependent on his teammates. I liken the Colts to the early Broncos teams led by John Elway. Now we can look back and say the Broncos really had no business even being in the three Super Bowls they lost--that Elway incalculably elevated those teams--but that wasn't what people said at the time. The rub? John Elway was no Joe Montana because he didn't win championships.

Let's get real here: Joe Montana was good, but he couldn't hold Elway's jock.

Of course, the whole "Elway can't win the big one" argument has been resolved because the Broncos won a couple championships at the end of Elway's career...but what if Terrell Davis and the rest of the team weren't there? How would we think of Elway today if they didn't win those games?

-I thought the Who had a good showing, which contrasts with a lot of stuff I've seen. I thought they sounded good and looked good. There's never a really good way to do 12 minutes of music when you have the back catalog of the Who, and I'm sure CBS contractually obligated them to play "Won't Get Fooled Again". Still, at age 65, Daltrey has lost only the top end of his range, and Townshend still windmills. They didn't take a single song down a half- (or full-) octave like most musicians fifteen years younger tend to do.

-The commercials, yet again, were meh. I think they've simply run out of ways to surprise us, shock us, or wow us visually.

New Career for CoCo?

2010-02-01T12:51:00.003-06:00

I was reading Joe Posnanski's piece on the Washington Generals' owner. It's a great column/post about Red Klotz, a former professional basketball star who has coached a team of no-names against the world-famous Harlem Globetrotters for some 58 years.

In the comments section, someone alertly posted that Red attempted to contact a certain deposed redheaded talk show host about playing some ball for the Generals.

Here is the result (click to enlarge):

I love the comment about Andy at the end.

Creatures of the Gym

2010-01-28T18:24:00.003-06:00

My fiancée and I typically hit the gym together on Wednesday nights after work. Most of the year, we tend to see a lot of the same people week after week.

Things are a little different at the first of the year. The regulars are there, but as everyone’s New Year’s resolutions kick in, there is a noticeable flood of new faces in January that slowly dwindles until about mid-February.

You can tell who isn’t going to be long for the gym world. There are some who aimlessly walk around, looking sideways at the weight machines but never getting on any of the ones they don’t understand. They’re intimidated by the machines and are too embarrassed to ask anyone how to use them. Men tend to worry they’ll look weak, and women tend to worry they’ll look silly. Either way, the fear of embarrassment prevents them from getting anything out of their visit.

There are others who simply look miserable. They get on the elliptical or treadmill for 5 minutes, put it on way too challenging a level for them, start gasping, and walk away with their head down. Maybe they lie down on a mat, struggle to do 4 situps, and give up because they figure they’re too far gone to ever get in shape. Or maybe they try a yoga class because it seems fun, but they get discouraged because they can’t touch their toes and the other students are standing on their heads.

I feel bad for these two groups, because they really just need a little instruction, reassurance, and encouragement. They need to know how to get the most out of their time, and a reminder that a sedentary person’s fitness level improves very, very quickly. Mostly, they need to know that tangible results aren’t far off.

On the other hand, there are those who I simply wish would leave. There aren’t many at my gym, so they stick out like sore thumbs.

Grunters.

People on their cell phones while they’re on the cardio equipment.

Jackasses who talk to people in the two groups above about how you absolutely need to eat 12 times a day and work out 6 days a week, thereby destroying what little desire they had to be there in the first place.

Oh, and this other guy.

One of the new faces last week caught my attention. He was fairly douchey looking--tribal tattoo on calf, bad fauxhawk (I know that’s redundant)--but not epically so. Oh, except for one detail: he was wearing sunglasses inside to work out.

He moved at glacier’s pace from machine to machine, nonchalantly sitting there between sets and halfassing his workout. Then, something about his mannerisms made it all click in my head.

As my fiancée and I walked around the track, she mentioned the guy. “What’s that about? Did he sit on his glasses and have to wear his sunglasses to see?”

No, these were Fake-leys (yes, he’s that guy) and there is no way they’re prescription.

“Does he just want to avoid eye contact? Maybe he got punched at the bar.”

Well, that’s a distinct possibility, but you're giving him too much credit.

I think there’s a more likely explanation.

He was trying to check out some ass.

The way he would sit too long on one machine, then move for a better view when the girl got on the leg curl machine. You know, the one where she lays on her stomach.

The way he stopped in his tracks, pretending to play with his iPod, while a girl was stretching in the hallway.

He thought he was discreet, but it was blindingly clear to me.

Look, my gym is certainly not a meat market, but by definition there are a lot of fit women in tight clothing. And no one is pretending there’s no mutual checking out going on.

But by putting on the shades, he’s basically putting a pervy spotlight on himself. Sorry, but you’ve gone too far, jackass. I’m onto you.

KC Grill and Kabob

2010-01-25T19:11:00.001-06:00

This past Saturday, my fiancée and I were trying to figure out a place to eat. We were at my office (near Oak Park Mall) doing our respective work stuff before leaving on business for the week. We wanted something quick.

Initially, we were going to settle on Chik-Fil-A just due to proximity and speed. Neither of us really wanted it, though. After going through a list of “takes too long” and “I’m not eating that”, we settled on a place we’d eaten for lunch a few months ago – KC Grill and Kabob.

Tucked away off 87th just east of Pflumm, the restaurant is owned by a native of Iran who worked in the food service business for 20+ years before opening his own place.

Once we got there and confirmed they had a dinner buffet, we knew it would end up being a wise decision. We love ethnic places with a buffet because we get to try all the stuff we’re not sure about without committing to a full entrée.

(They have a lunch buffet seven days a week and dinner buffet Friday – Sunday).

The hummus, homemade pita bread, and baba ghanoush was delicious. Several kinds of rice (jasmine, dill, and saffron) went great with the meats, including beef & chicken kabobs and grilled Cornish hen.

We loved just about everything we tried. We weren’t quite as keen on the soups, but we’re not big barley/lentil fans. The rice pudding with almonds and a splash of rose water along with hot Persian tea was a great cap to the meal.

The owner is gracious and more than willing to describe everything for you. He takes a lot of pride in the food he prepares. The decor (random pictures of all things Persian) is fun to take in as well.

Oh, and did I mention it was $10.99 for the dinner buffet?

Check ‘em out if you’re in the area. You won’t be sad you did.

Errands and Oblivion

2010-01-21T15:26:00.002-06:00

I ran errands over my lunch hour. Specifically, the following:

-I went to the hardware store to buy a new light switch.

-I got my hair cut.

-I went into a restaurant at high noon, ordered some food, and took it to go.

-I filled my gas tank.

-I went to the ATM.

Now: which of these took the longest?

The haircut, right? NOPE. Went to a new place, and I was in and out (and happy, no less) in less than 10 minutes.

Well, it had to be lunch, right? I mean, straight up noon, no call ahead…

NOPE. It took less than 5 minutes.

It was the ATM. Because the oblivious, selfish jackass two cars ahead of me apparently decided to do his entire 2009 small business accounting from the driver’s seat of his car.

I’m not kidding. The guy deposited AT LEAST a dozen checks, one at a time, correcting his entries. Then, he fed money into the machine bill by bill. Then, he removed his debit card, PUT IN A DIFFERENT ONE, and made a withdrawal…THEN SAT IN HIS CAR FOR 30 seconds writing in his checkbook.

The guy in front of me laid on his horn and started cussing, at which point the jackass looked up as if to notice the line behind him for the first time.

Don’t be that guy. I know it’s a lot to ask in this world of self-absorption, but pay a little attention to your surroundings--at the ATM, in the aisle at Walmart, while you’re running a stop sign right in front of me because you were having such an important conversation. I’m not always as patient as I was today.

Flaming Lips + More: Friday, April 23rd

2010-01-20T12:34:00.005-06:00

Good golly, there's a great show coming April 23rd to Sandstone.

The Flaming Lips are a must-see live, with an over-the-top extravaganza for the senses. They are worth the price of admission alone.

The Dead Weather, if you're not familiar, is another of Jack White's (The White Stripes, Raconteurs) side projects.

Minus the Bear and White Rabbits I know less about, but I like what I've heard.

This is going to be a really, really good show.

Tickets go on sale Saturday at 10am.

Or, if you click here, you can buy them now through a presale for $31.65/ticket (sorry, the $21.65 tickets are already gone). Password is FLAMING.

Will I see you there?

Tantrum + Good Weather = Plans for Friday

2010-01-13T13:05:00.003-06:00

I think I can speak for all of us: it's a relief to FINALLY see the rivers of melted snow flowing down the street. A look at the forecast reveals high temperatures in the 37º to 50º (!) range over the next week, so those rivers will continue to run.

Speaking of weather, we were kind enough to postpone last week's Tantrum show so you good people didn't have to brave what was billed to be the coldest weather in 20 years. (It fell a bit short of that, but still--we were thinking of you.)

Now, we'll be performing on a much more pleasant evening in Westport. Come check us out!

Our special guest is Michael Byars, host of KCUR's Morning Edition. He will tell true stories based on your suggestions, which will serve as the basis for our improvised scenes.

Friday, January 15th
8pm
Westport Coffee House Theater
$10
May contain adult content
Call 913-678-8886 for reservations

Bowling

2010-01-12T08:29:00.000-06:00

I’ve been a bowler on and off since my teens. I started bowling in youth leagues at 13 or 14. My first job was as a porter and occasional maintenance guy at a bowling alley. My second “real job”* was also as a porter and occasional maintenance guy at a different bowling alley.

*I don’t count the epic FAILure that was one summer as a cutlery salesperson.

I even managed a stint at the pool hall/game room of yet another local bowling alley as a stopgap when I was in college.

One of the perks of working in a bowling alley was…well, free bowling. And I took major advantage of this as a kid. I mean, what else is a broke-assed 16-year-old working part time for minimum wage going to do with his free time? I once bowled 29 games in succession on a Sunday afternoon.

I bowled a league every year until I was about 20, at which time it got a little more difficult. The main issue with league bowling is the commitment: the standard league runs from about September to May.

That’s committing the same night every week for a SCHOOL YEAR (roughly 36 weeks).

It’s tough, and it’s the main reason some bowling alleys are closing and others are forced to reinvent themselves.

I came back to bowl for a few years in my late 20s, and I had a good time with the friends on my team. However, every year I found my enthusiasm waning big time around February with, like, 14 weeks to go.

Like many things in life that are fun yet time-consuming, eventually burnout sets in. I had fallen out of love with bowling. Something I used to do on a weekly basis had become an occasional happening at best. Eventually, it didn’t even register on my mental list of fun ways to spend a couple hours on a weekend afternoon.

But the week of Christmas, before the “snow events”, I got out of work early. When I pulled into the garage, I happened to notice my bowling stuff. I hadn’t used it in over a year and a half.

I thought, “What the hell.”

I got to the bowling alley and put on my shoes. My bowling ball no longer fits quite right, a combination of a little weight loss and a little reduction in finger size caused by…well, not bowling.

But I made it work. My second throw after all that time off followed an arc out toward the gutter, then hooked abruptly right into the pocket. My first strike of the day.

As I got warm, the ball came off my hand with more speed and more spin. It started to feel “right” again. I had the familiar feeling of people’s eyes watching—the kids two lanes over; the employees behind the counter—as strikes lined up consecutively on the overhead monitor.

The first real game I’ve bowled in 18 months was a 237.

It was exhilarating to suddenly be back in that element.

I followed with a 215 and a 256. 708 series? Like riding a bike.

I paid for my games and went home. It took me all of 40 minutes to bowl.

When I got home, I opened the hatch of my car. Before I reached in to pull my bowling stuff out of the back, I paused for a moment.

I looked at the deceptively heavy black bag, and how many memories I have tied to bowling in general.

I thought back to the satisfaction of bowling well just moments before, of giving the scrawny kids two lanes over a bit of a show.

I smiled and put the bag back on the shelf, in a place slightly more conspicuous than where it was before.

National Championship Game Thoughts

2010-01-08T08:45:00.002-06:00

1. Texas wins last night with Colt McCoy. Look, the 18-year-old kid who replaced him did the best he could. But his nerves were painfully obvious. Almost every ball he threw was either way too hard (dude, he’s 20 feet away…you might want to take a little off) or right into the turf (squeezing the ball too hard leads to holding it a bit too long which causes the nose of the ball to head right for the ground). I’m not blaming him at all. I can’t imagine being in that situation unexpectedly a mere 8 months after leaving HIGH SCHOOL.

Despite all that, he had a real chance to tie or go ahead with a successful drive in the last two minutes. Hell, merely subtracting the ill-advised shovel pass at the end of the first half makes this a completely different game.

2. Alabama isn’t dominant. (I’m not saying Texas is.) Their quarterback isn’t good. Their running game certainly is, but once a defense keys in on that it can be contained. And Texas’ offense still moved the ball on Alabama’s overrated defense with an 18-year-old freshman misfiring most of the game. There just wasn’t a dominant team in college football this year…and strangely, there were 5 undefeated teams.

3. I changed channels at halftime, figuring the game was over. I checked back late in the 3rd quarter. The game was definitely not over.

4. Alabama punching in another TD with less than a minute was a punk move. They could have just kneeled on the ball and gone home. Stuff like that can end up getting your players hurt.

5. Does anyone seriously think that Boise State and TCU couldn’t hang with either of these teams?

January Beer Dinner

2010-01-06T11:09:00.003-06:00

We had yet another good time at McCoy’s Brewmaster Dinner last night. The two of us were seated at a fun table with another beer-loving couple (we met them at the Schlafly dinner several months ago) and McCoy’s blogger/Facebooker/social-media-guru-in-chief.

We started with Harvest Dance, one of Boulevard’s seasonal Smokestack series beers. It’s a wheat wine, and it went nicely with the roasted butternut squash, pumpkin walnut bread, and Basque cheese.

Next was a duck confit over pastry and a small salad paired Arcadia’s Cereal Killer Barleywine. This beer is now on tap at the Foundry, thanks to the new tap towers they installed. They now have an additional 12 or so beers on tap, so check the board next time you’re in there—you’re likely to stumble across a few brews you haven’t tried.

This course was followed by McCoy’s 10th Anniversary Ale, paired with roasted pork over white cheddar grits. The interesting thing about this beer is that McCoy’s 10th anniversary was over 3 years ago. They brewed a massive IPA that year, and sold it all...except for one keg. That keg hadn’t been moved (let alone tapped!) since then. It has matured to about 13% ABV, and the hop character has melted away. As the brewmaster put it, it’s pretty much barleywine at this point.

(It’s also still on tap if you want to try it, but it likely won’t last long.)

Finally, we had Avery’s Mephistopheles paired with a raspberry beer-a-misu, which is about what you’d imagine. This is one beer I’d never tried, mostly because I was put off by the $10 per 12 oz. price tag (and that's in the liquor store). It was big, dark, delicious, and dangerous. Somewhere over 15% ABV.

And that was the only problem with the event. When you’re drinking such small quantities of highly potent beer, you tend to lose track of where you’re at as far as consumption goes.

The line between “happy” and “holy crap” is a mere half-glass thick, as I experienced shortly after the event.

I had a lovely time talking (progressively more loudly, natch) to friends new and old last night.

I had a less lovely time waking up in the middle of the night with the gurgly stomach, sweaty forehead, and racing pulse of someone who had consumed a bit too much unpasteurized beer on a school night.

It’s a conundrum—should I keep enjoying these monthly events on work nights, knowing that I still outkick my coverage occasionally when it comes to drinking?

P.S.
The next Red X wine tasting is Thursday, February 11th from 5-7pm. :)

Weather By the Numbers

2010-01-05T09:46:00.001-06:00

Weather fascinates me. I like storms and such, but I find myself more intrigued by data and statistics — especially when it comes to extremes.

I think it hearkens back to my childhood, which found me spending inordinate numbers of hours reading the backs of baseball cards. For example, did you know George Brett was born May 15, 1953 in Wheeling, WV? I haven’t looked that up since 1st grade, if you were wondering.

But I digress.

This fun little winter spell we’ve been experiencing had me wondering about the context of the snow and cold snap.

(All forthcoming data is based on KCI measurements.)

With forecasters predicting lows this weekend anywhere from -9º to -16º, the possibility is certainly there for a dip to double-digit negative temps.

Did you know…the last time we were in double digits below zero was January 28, 1997—pert near 13 years ago? Yep. We hit -14º that day.

We got quite a dumping of snow in December, including 7” on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Did you know…December 2009 was the 3rd snowiest December on record? With 15.1”, last month trailed only December 1961 (16.6”) and December 1918 (16.4”).

This is a bit less related to current weather, but it’s interesting to see the extremes of years past. I know a better indication of the “harshness” of a season would be, say, December of 2002 combined with January and February of 2003, but that’s too much work. I’ll work backward from 2008 (2009 data is incomplete); the numbers are as follows:

2008: High temp = 97º. Number of days it got above 90º = 15. Low temp = -4º. Number of days it got below 0º = 5.
2007: 102º (40); -3º (3).
2006: 104º (58); 4º (0).
2005: 99º (38); -5º (1).
2004: 95º (10); -4º (4).
2003: 106º (48); -9º (3).
2002: 103º (62); -4º (1).
2001: 100º (34); -6º (2).
2000: 106º (47); -9º (7).

A couple more tidbits:

My fiancée moved here from Minnesota in mid-2004. The absurdly mild summer that year was completely deceptive and may have played some small role in keeping her here. Thank you, Mother Nature.

The cold isn’t going to let up for at least several more days, but keep this in mind: every year since 2000, it has hit at least 60º at some point in January. Hell, it’s even hit 70º twice (in 2003 and 2009).

Holiday Recap

2010-01-04T09:34:00.002-06:00

Anyone else wondering how the hell we got to 2010 so quickly?

Quick holiday recap: the in-laws braved the ice rink that is I-35 in December to make the trek from Minnesota. The thought behind this was to avoid the general nastiness that is MN weather over the holidays.

Yeah. (Though to be fair, it was worse up there.)

My sister- and brother-in-law are considering moving down here soon, in part to avoid the 6 months of winter pain they experience every year in Duluth. We alternated laughing and rolling our eyes that they had to experience the biggest snowfall KC has seen in a decade.

Such is life, I guess.

We got to make Christmas dinner, and we took the opportunity to veer from tradition a bit. We did roasted butternut squash with thyme and a little blue cheese, a wonderful turkey-sausage-based dressing, and this brined pork loin with molasses-mustard glaze, sour mash sauce and apple butter. We happened upon some holiday special on Food Network at a time when we were trying to figure out what we wanted on the menu, and seeing this pork loin being prepared was a happy coincidence. It was phenomenal. There was also a delicious from-scratch apple pie consumed.

For the second year in a row, weather managed to delay delivery of an item we ordered. This time, it was living room furniture. It’s ridiculously cozy, and can be arranged as 4 separate pieces or all together as shown (stock photo; chick, dude, and popcorn not included):

This came in handy; thanks to all the fun weather and some accumulated time off, we watched an inordinate number of movies. We never get to watch movies, so this was a treat. Bonus? We liked all of them.

We went out to see:
Up In the Air (extremely well-done, and hits home as someone who’s spent more time than most in airports)
Duck Soup (part of Tivoli’s Meal and a Movie plan from last post; absurd, pointless, yet strangely funny Marx Brothers action)

We stayed in to see:
Up (part funny, part sad; surprisingly deep and moving. Fabulous.)
Inglourious Basterds (Tarantino is the best at making you feel THAT tense throughout a 20-minute scene in which nothing but dialogue happens. Great film.)
District 9 (inventive story/allegory; vaporizing humans never looked like so much fun.)
The Hangover (good, but didn’t live up to all the hype I’ve heard since it was released)

*sigh*

Time to get back to the gym…and the corresponding resolution crowd for the next 4-6 weeks.

Westport Is Fun

2009-12-21T10:10:00.002-06:00

We spent close to 12 hours in Westport Saturday, and I must say it was a lovely time.

11:30am: Lunch at one80 with a good friend/archivist.

12:45pm: Movie at Tivoli (Some Like It Hot). They are doing a "Movie and a Meal" promotion for the next three weeks - go see a matinee of Casablanca, Duck Soup, or Breakfast at Tiffany's, then take a coupon to just about any Westport eatery and enjoy a discount meal before or after the show.

2:30pm: Hot, caffeine-abundant drink at Broadway Café.

2:50pm: Antiques store stop with aforementioned friend/archivist and his friend. He bought some more crap to archive; she bought a Luke Perry 90210 doll. Both left happy.

3:45pm: Stopped by the high-end kitchen store just north of the Riot Room to get ideas for our remodel that should take place any decade now, but we had to window shop because the place closed at 3pm.

4:00pm: Went to a very busy World Market to buy various snacks and miscellany for the family holiday visit.

4:40pm: Went to the Foundry, met up with good friends to have food, drinks, and candy.

7:30pm: Started drinking.

Sometime around 8pm: First group of good friends dispersed for the evening, but second group began to form at the tables directly behind us.

Sometime around 9:30pm: I had consumed enough Winter Warmers to start talking a little too loud and a little too much. Who cares; I was happy.

10:30pm: Went home.

Expensive Beer, Cheap Wine

2009-12-10T08:46:00.005-06:00

Besides Swedish furniture, we also picked up some booze in Minnesota. Nationally, beer is distributed according to state laws, licenses, and proximity, so each state has a different mix of breweries from which to choose. Therefore, I knew what I had to do: go to Beer Advocate to research beer-friendly liquor stores in the Twin Cities area.

After weighing the ratings and geography, we decided to stop at Blue Max Liquors in Burnsville, near the I-35E/W split as you approach the cities from the south. It was a smaller store than I expected (rather cramped for space), but the selection did not disappoint.

In fact, I had a hard time deciding what all to purchase. After filling a certain beer blogger’s order, we bought a bunch of different stuff. Having heard all sorts of great things about Surly (mostly here) I knew that we would buy a 4-pack of each just to try them out. I’ve been very pleased with the smoothness of Bender, the peppery Saison(ish) flavor of CynicAle, and the hop blast of Furious. Haven’t tried the Coffee Bender yet.

Among other things we picked up (sorry the pictures suck):

Dark Horse “One”. Labeled an oatmeal stout ale, this stuff is syrupy. In texture and flavor, it is only slightly less intense than your average imperial stout. Very good.

Brau Bros. Braun Ale. I liked this one too. Dangerously drinkable and tasty. A malty brown, not a lot of hop presence.

Gray’s BULLY PORTER. Really. I had to pick this up, for obvious reasons. Interestingly, it is on the opposite end of the spectrum from our hometown’s namesake. Whereas Boulevard’s version has a dominantly dry-hopped flavor, this one is a bit on the sweet side. It’s a nice beer.

I picked up a bunch of other stuff too.

As I hauled the shopping cart to the register, I asked the fellow ringing me up how long Darkness (Surly’s Imperial Stout and one of the most elusive beers around) lasted on the shelves. The guy manning the next register said they received 5 cases (60 750-ml bottles) of the stuff at the end of October and sold it in 24 hours. I nodded my head and smiled, when suddenly my cashier told me to hold on for just a minute. He disappeared, and the other guy said, “I think he’s going to see Santy Claus”, in his Minnesota accent.

A couple minutes later, our cashier reappeared and said, quietly and secretively, “Do you want one? I can sell you ONE,” adding his index finger for emphasis.

He told the manager we were buying $160 worth of beer, so apparently we surpassed the secret Darkness threshold. I’m surprised no code words or secret handshakes were involved. It turns out they held a sixth case back for employees to sell themselves and potentially cellar for next year.

Of course, even at $18, I bought it.

The manager then came out and said, “I also have some of this.” He held up a bottle of Life & Limb, a collaboration between Dogfish Head and Sierra Nevada.

“The state of Minnesota got 5 cases. I got one of them. Would you like a bottle?”

Well, duh.

So we walked out about $200 lighter.

Referring back to the title of this post…our next stop was at Trader Joe’s. We bought a case (12 bottles) of wine.

It cost $68.

With tax.

No Three Buck Chuck either. We do draw a line somewhere; that stuff is awful. Especially when, for $2 or $3 more, you can drink a totally passable bottle of wine (at least for our apparently unrefined palates).

Next Red X Wine Tasting Tomorrow Night

2009-12-09T08:25:00.001-06:00

The next Red X Wine Tasting is 5pm-7pm TOMORROW, Thursday, December 10th. There will be pizza and perhaps more wine afterward in Parkville. It’s what we do. Read more here.

Feelin' Minnesota: The Aftermath

2009-12-08T13:58:00.011-06:00

I have some catching up to do.

-The trip to Minnesota was a success. We got a metric crapload of stuff at IKEA, Trader Joe’s, and Blue Max Liquors. The rental minivan strained to keep up with the sheer mass and weight of all this tightly-packed, mass-produced Swedish goodness:

We got to see the Minnesota side of our family and spend a little quality time with everyone. It was really nice, the weather cooperated, and the Happy Gnome is a highly recommended stop for great food and beer—lots of local produce and a thoughtful selection of brews on tap.

-IKEA assembly was mostly a success. We bought a bedroom set for the spare room (bed + 2 dressers):

an entire office “suite”:

miscellaneous light fixtures and lamps (not pictured), and a TV "wall" for the living room.

Everything went smoothly…except the TV stand portion of the wall. Here it is after I assembled it the first time:

The furniture was listed as 15-3/4” deep on the box, website…everywhere. The problem is that the shelf the TV is to sit on is only 7” deep. Even the stand for a flat screen is considerably bigger (ours is about 12” deep). There is no mention of this anywhere. The only way for anyone to use this furniture as intended is to mount the TV directly onto the back of this shelf as if it is a wall. The problem, of course, is that there is also no mention of this fact ANYWHERE. Worse, it would require 2 additional rails, which of course would require another visit to IKEA or a huge shipping fee.

We decided to improvise instead. She used a router to cut a hole in the bottom of the board that would be behind the TV. This would allow us to slip the TV stand below it, mostly unnoticeably.

Of course, this unique, contoured board with specially-measured holes and couplings then fell to the ground and snapped in two.

Yeah.

The next day, she bought a bracket at Home Depot to repair the board, at least enough so that we could be done with it. We also had to make holes in the board for wires because they stuck too far out of the back of the TV. Fortunately the TV itself hides all this:

End result, with side elements added:

Honestly, it looks great. That said, you may want to stay away from the Besta line @ IKEA. We’ve now had two major problems with products in this line, and being so far away from a store it's not easy to resolve them.

More to come (about things other than IKEA) once I find the time.

Feelin' Minnesota

2009-11-19T15:55:00.000-06:00

We’re heading up to the Twin Cities this weekend to see the northern outpost of our family and knock out some overdue IKEA/Trader Joe’s shopping.

Every time I go up there I find a reason I would love to live there. Before I leave I inevitably see something that confirms I’m just fine right here, thankyouverymuch.

First off, if you haven’t been, it’s about time you went—it’s a fun place. It’s a straight shot right up I-35. It only takes about 6-1/2 hours from KC if you keep yours stops brief.

The metroplex is larger than Kansas City by a good 60%. In turn, they have many more options for shopping, restaurants, music, theater, sports teams, and other things that generally make a city desirable.

The city feels much more urban than Kansas City, with more public transit, denser population, more innovative architecture, and more truly self-contained neighborhoods.

The population is well-educated; this is to be expected in a city that contains one of the five largest colleges in the country (the University of Minnesota). I’m usually taken aback by how kind people are there. “Minnesota Nice” is not an ironic concept.

By the end of each trip I’m reminded:

The largeness of the metroplex also means it is far more difficult to get around. The traffic snarls are nearly constant, exacerbated by seemingly never-ending construction projects.

The cost of housing is much higher there. Yes, this is what happens when you have a desirable place to live, but I like having an affordable mortgage payment. (Wages are only slightly higher there.)

And then…there’s the weather. On average, it is FIFTEEN degrees colder there than in KC from December to February (and this is the warm part of Minnesota we’re talking about). Think about how you feel on a cold, windy January day in KC…now subtract those 15 ticks off the thermometer. Yeah. The ground is frozen for months.

To be fair, a hot summer there is far more pleasant than a hot summer here. They average 8 degrees cooler temps from June to August with far less humidity.

However, I remember walking two blocks from a bar to our car a couple winters ago. It was a windy night, and my fiancée was almost painfully uncomfortable. She said something to the effect of “this is ridiculous and please remind me of this if I ever mention moving back here”.

I told her, “The bad part of all this? This isn’t even THAT COLD for Minneapolis.”

It was 14º at the time. The average—AVERAGE—low in January is 4º.

No thanks.

Greinke Wins Cy Young

2009-11-17T12:56:00.002-06:00

25 out of 28 voters got it right.

That is all.

Dead Canary? Doodle?

2009-11-10T15:54:00.003-06:00

I'm looking to someone who keeps up on these things better than I:

Have you heard anything new about the progress at Dead Canary Brewing or Doodle Brewing?

For those who don't know, Dead Canary was started by two women who work at Flying Saucer and have done extensive homebrewing. According to their blog, they have built a space in the West Bottoms that includes an upstairs taproom and dodgeball/beer pong facilities.

They've met with Adam Avery of the badass Avery Brewing Company to discuss both the beer and the business side of things. Unfortunately, that was in January - and that was their last post on the blog.

As for Doodle Brewing, a former 75th Street brewer who has worked in the craft beer industry for over 6 years (including a stop at Harpoon in Boston) planned to open a brewery in Liberty.

Doodle's blog hasn't been updated since July 24th, at which point he was fully financed, construction was 99% done, test batches had been approved, and he hoped to have beer for sale in KS and/or MO by August.

Any news on either of these ventures?

Vacation, Part 3: Last Day in the Canyon

2009-11-09T22:26:00.000-06:00

We spent the morning exploring the east end of the South Rim, where the overlooks are farther apart and a car is required.

We were amazed by all the different languages we heard in our time there, as people from all over the world were drawn to visit. It drives home how truly unique and renowned the Grand Canyon is.

A few more photos, some of which show the Colorado River thousands of feet below:

We traveled the entire length of the highway to the east entrance of the park (some 20 miles), and as we turned back it began to rain a bit. We made it back to where we started, and before we left the park we pulled over to get one last look.

Here's what we got:

And this:

We're thinking we might go back someday.

Vacation, Part 2: Elevation, Shmel...catches breath...evation

2009-11-07T08:00:00.000-06:00

Our second day at the Grand Canyon would be one of our most exhausting in recent memory. I mean this in the best possible sense.

We chose to take a day hike, descending on the South Kaibab Trail into the canyon. We weren't sure how far we would go; we decided to see what "felt" right.

The trailhead is at an elevation of 7200 feet. The Colorado River is at 2500 feet. Translation? The trail tends to look like this:

The views were absolutely amazing, though:

This was our view for lunch:

We descended further, until we turned around and saw how far we'd come (gulp):

Yes, we had to make it all the way back to the top, so we figured it was time to turn back.

The downside of hiking into a canyon is that the hard part comes LAST. You're already worn out from coming DOWN the rocky trail, and two and a half hours later you realize you've descended something like 1500 feet.

Now, consider that you're still at almost 6000 feet altitude, and...well, your midwestern lungs just aren't happy with you. We had to stop about every 5 minutes on the way up and take a serious break. We recovered fairly quickly, but we couldn't go far between breathers. Looking back to see how far we'd climbed kept us going, because the canyon rim never seemed to get any closer.

Finally, we made it. This sign was apropos:

To give you some perspective, here's a view of the ridge we traversed:

We celebrated with some haute cuisine:

After all this, we still walked another several miles (on level ground, thank you) to take in more of the views. We were absolutely beat, and we gorged on pizza once we got back to the hotel.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Vacation, Part 1: Erosion is Beautiful

2009-11-06T14:32:00.004-06:00

I landed in Vegas at 10am; my fiancee didn't arrive until 8pm as she was flying in from Boston. After a quick spin down the Strip to see what was in store for us later in the week, we got to our brand spankin' new Comfort Suites to get some sleep before our road trip.

About 30 miles south of Vegas is the Hoover Dam. Many statistics are thrown out there about the enormity of this thing. My two favorites are:

1. The dam was finished in 1935. Some concrete deep in the heart of the dam is STILL curing.

2. The dam contains enough concrete to build a 2-lane highway from San Francisco to New York.

It's big. Them are cars up on top.

I pushed our rental Sonata pretty hard; we didn't see the legal side of 90 mph for much of the trip. The speed limit was 75 and we were mostly just keeping up with traffic, so I didn't feel I was being reckless or anything.

The scenery through Arizona got progressively nicer as we approached the highway that would take us to the south rim of the Grand Canyon. We got to our Best Western (quite nice - I would recommend it), relaxed for a moment, then made our way into the park.

There are no words to adequately prepare you for the first time you walk up to the rim and see the vastness and colors and shapes come together. There are no pictures to do it justice, which doesn't stop me from posting some anyway.

You really have to go. Everyone should see this at least once in his or her life:

Here are the layers of rock, all of which are exposed at certain points in the canyon:

The canyon:

You must see the canyon, especially at sunset:

Eventually it looks like this:

We finished our evening with a lovely meal at El Tovar, a lodge next to the canyon that was built in 1905.

More to come...

McCoy's Dinner = Great Success

2009-11-05T10:22:00.004-06:00

Check out photos of the event here

IMO, every course and pairing was a hit. Just look at the pictures...your eyes will agree.

I've already got tickets for December, where some of the beers on the menu include McCoy's Winter Warmer, St. Bernardus Abt. 12 (a quadrupel and part of the beer cycle), Samichlaus (with which a Foundry bartender once tried to kill me, and a special Christmas treat from Boulevard (it's a secret!).

Thanks to N & D for attending, and it was nice to meet with owners, chefs, brewmasters, and bloggers (LC, holla!) who made the event possible.

Kansas City: The HORROR

2009-10-30T14:15:00.003-05:00

Check this out, featuring local improv legends Dennis and Nikki Dupont!

Trivia, JoCo Style

2009-10-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

Trivia, JoCo Style

After our thrice-postponed fall softball finale was finally played Wednesday night, a number of us headed to Tanner’s for food and beer.

One of the things I’ve found lacking in JoCo is a good place to go for drinks. Most places just seem so…generic. This is not shocking for a county which serves as a veritable beacon of beige construction materials.

Tanner’s is the epitome of the JoCo watering hole, in my opinion. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with the place, but there’s nothing right about it either (except maybe the 2 for $8 burger + fries special they were running Wednesday night—really a pretty good deal for an okay burger).

Wrong or right, the room was packed on a Wednesday night. Most of the people were probably there for the cheap burgers, but a good number were also playing trivia. It was standard bar-style trivia: a guy with a mic plays music or movie clips over the PA and asks a question about it.

However, there was one wrinkle I’d never seen before:

EVERY GROUP HAD A LAPTOP.

Seriously. It was open book effing trivia.

Sorry, but what’s the point? To be able to say you’re the most industrious user of Google in the bar?

When the answers were read back, I wanted to throttle people who cheered when they got some of the answers right. Not just because any trivia team worth its salt would have gotten them without a computer, but because all they had to do was type in the title of the song that was playing into the Google toolbar to magically have it spit back the artist who recorded it.

Lame.

How Does That Taste, Improvisers?

2009-10-29T10:12:00.005-05:00

I was curious how local improvisers would feel about this:

Comedian Fills Big Shoes At Second City

In summary, a 21-year-old from the KC area took one improv class on a whim to fulfill an elective. Her teacher (EDIT: Brian Posen, who is actually a teacher at Second City, not Brian Posehn, who Bull correctly suggests would not be allowed near college students) suggested she try out for SECOND FREAKING CITY.

Of course, she was accepted.

After one improv class.

Now, granted, she IS a musical theater major, so she had already honed a lot of the tools that would make her a valuable commodity to Second City.

But how does that make you feel?

I admittedly rolled my eyes and thought, well yeah...she probably got accepted into the training program, or MAYBE the touring company.

But I don't know the details, and those thoughts were only to minimize her accomplishments to make me feel better.

If I'm being truthful with myself, my emotions were as follows: jealousy and resentment.

Respite

2009-10-15T12:29:00.002-05:00

These last few months have been busy. It seems like it's been a constant stream of stuff hanging over my head.

Remodel a bathroom.
Buy a house.
Sell a house.
Move.
Get settled.
Make wedding plans.
Find a car.
Travel for work.

I've longed to have a couple weeks where I simply had nothing major to do.

I think I'm finally there.

I've been looking forward to the Grand Canyon and Vegas for quite a while, and Ken Burns' work has only made me more excited.

I will fly into Vegas Saturday, enjoy the drive to the Grand Canyon (by way of Hoover Dam and Lake Mead) and back, then spend the latter half of the week enjoying the artificial splendor that is Sin City.

I can't wait.

What I Learned At The Foundry Last Night

2009-10-13T09:52:00.003-05:00

-McCoy's Ursa Major Imperial Stout is back, just in time for the chilly weather. Thinking back to the last batch, I may have been a fan. This year's is outstanding as well, though it's poured cold and you'll need to let it warm up a bit. Definitely worth a trip if you're a fan of the style.

-November 3rd is the next McCoy's Brewmaster's Dinner, and it's going to be a doozy. It's all fall food paired with Belgian Trappist beers. I looked for a .jpg of the menu, but couldn't find it. I was drooling. I'll post it once I find a copy. My reservations are in. Let me know if you'll be there and we'll meet up beforehand. It'll be like Drinking for the Cycle plus food.

UPDATE: Found this on the Foundry's calendar...

TRAPPIST BEER DINNER! All of our Brewmaster's Dinners so far have sold out. However, this highly anticipated food and beer pairing is certain to fill up quickly, so make reservations now.

First Course: Chimay Tripel featuring Hazelnut-encrusted Chevre Goat Cheese Truffles with rosemary honey.

Second course pairs a Pumpkin Soup served with Sage Crouton and Nutmeg Whipped Cream with Orval Belgium Pale Ale.

Next up is the Rochefort 10 matched with a Roast Duck Salad, Sun-Dried Cherries, Candied Walnuts and Roquefort Cheese.

On to the Fourth Course: Seared Diver Scallop over butternut squash, brown butter sauce and proscuitto paired with Achel Bruin 8.

For the main course, Westmalle Dubbel is served with a Braised Beef Short Rib, shitake mushrooms and parsnip-turnip puree.

And finally, for dessert, a Double-layered Butternut Squash Pecan Pie with an Apricot Glaze and Maple Whipped Cream teamed with Konigshoeven Quadrupel.

Tantrum: Friday, October 9th w/ Jonathan Bender

2009-10-06T14:57:00.002-05:00

Tantrum’s 2nd Friday series at the Westport Coffeehouse continues this Friday at 8pm.

Who: Tantrum Improv Comedy with Jonathan Bender
Where: Westport Coffeehouse Theater, 4010 Pennsylvania
When: Friday, October 9th, 8pm
How Much: $10 (but you can go to http://www.tantrumkc.com/ and check out “Latest News” for details on how to get in for half price!)
(May contain adult content)
http://www.tantrumkc.com/

Call 816-678-8886 for reservations.

In October, we're joined by writer Jonathan Bender, who blogs for The Kansas City Star’s Prime Buzz, which covers Missouri and Kansas politics, and The Pitch’s Fat City. And he’s working a book about Adult Fans of LEGO (he put that in caps, so we’re respecting the subculture). He also performs with the improv troupes Improv-Abilties and Loaded Dice, so we're pretty sure he can handle whatever you guys throw at him.

To get Jonathan started, you'll shout out topics you want to hear about. He can respond with anything he wants to—as long as it’s true. Then Tantrum takes over, twisting and turning his tales into a series of scenes. Get to know Jonathan better by reading his answers to our 7 Questions.

Adam's Rib - Closed

2009-10-02T12:12:00.003-05:00

As mentioned here, I was rooting for Adam's Rib. Lots of others were too.

Now, apparently it's closed.

This sucks. I really liked their food AND their people, and I think the place was just hitting its stride. The pulled pork was fabulous, their spicy sauce was great, they had a good lunch special...oh, and JUST TWO DAYS AGO it was named Pitch's Best Barbecue (South Region) for 2009.

Again, this sucks.

Kids

2009-09-28T14:41:00.002-05:00

I went to a cookout recently at a friend’s house. There were probably about 13 other guys there. I think 6 of the guys were married. All brought their wives.

Five of the six couples had a child under a year old with them; the other was 8 months pregnant.

Being surrounded by all those kids really got me wondering: what is it that makes people want to have children?

I’m not asking this rhetorically so I can go off on some rant about how I don’t like children, because that’s not the case. I ask this with genuine curiosity, from the point of view of someone who has never had the urge to be a father.

(I don’t know that this is especially rare for a guy. I think my fiancée gets far more dog-hearing-high-pitched-noise looks when she talks about not wanting kids. And I will readily admit that I’ve started to get rather mean when people (women) start insinuating that my fiancée is waiting until she can trap me into marriage then go bait-and-switch, biological-clock-ticking, demanding bitch on me. Great. Glad you give your gender so much credit.)

I feel like I lead a full life. I enjoy the things I do in my free time, and I love the lifestyle I have with my soon-to-be wife. We love our freedom and all the little spontaneous things we can do.

We’re also not the most traditional people in the world, in the sense that we’ve never seen parenthood as a given.

Here’s what I worry about, because I’ve seen it all too often: Life becomes 90% about the kids. The husband-wife relationship takes a back seat to the parent-child relationship for many, many years. Sometimes it never recovers. The things you loved doing together just become too inconvenient. Every venture outside the house turns into a test of patience and nerve.

I don’t want any of that to happen. I love my fiancée. She’s my favorite person in the world. I don’t want anything to get in the way of us enjoying our relationship.

To be fair, most people do not complain about being parents. My guess, though, is that it’s partly because they’d be lambasted by other parents for daring to suggest that parenthood is not the best, special-est thing EVARRRR.

So I ask again—what is it that makes people want to have children? Do people’s hearts melt when they hold a baby? Do children fill some sort of void? Is having kids something people simply feel like they’re supposed to do at a certain point in their lives? Is it societal pressure? Evolutionary pressure? Grandparental pressure?

Most people say parenthood is a wonderful feeling…that they don’t mind giving up their old life because they love their kids THAT MUCH. But I also think most of these same people wanted kids to begin with. Bully for them that it turned out even better than they hoped.

I will readily admit that I’m curious about how our kids would turn out. Frankly, I think we'd be solid assets for the gene pool. I’m not worried that we wouldn’t be good parents. I think we’d be attentive and loving (but not so competitive as to have pissing matches over how the Montessori school/classical music/gluten-free diet we chose make us better parents than THOSE people). And, yes, I concede that there is a possibility that years down the road we might regret not having children.

It’s just that those reasons aren’t enough.

Car Shopping = FAIL

2009-09-24T09:33:00.000-05:00

As mentioned before, I’m looking for a new car.

Yeah, I’m STILL looking.

I’m really not all that picky; my problem, over and over again, is that I get into a car and I’m just not comfortable. The issue is that I’m 6’4” (mostly torso) and broad-shouldered.

I just want something I fit in that’s reasonably fun to drive. Is that so difficult?

Legroom really isn’t a problem in most cars. It’s headroom. In some cases, I can’t physically position the seat in a way that my head is not grazing the roof. In others, the combination of my eye level being so high and the roof line being so low would require me to lean forward every time I’m at a red light to see the signal change.

Some cars’ seats are too narrow as well. I test-drove an Accord whose seats made me feel like I was getting a hug from a person with no forearms and sharp elbows. The contours didn’t really fit my contours.

The suck part is that I actually want a small- to medium-sized car (see “fun to drive” criterion above). The problem is that those cars don’t tend to come with power (i.e. potentially low-slung) seats as an option, which would be essential to my ability to drive them.

I can’t believe how frustrating this has become.

The Kansas City Kansan Has a New Owner

2009-09-23T11:31:00.002-05:00

Growing up, my parents always got two newspapers: the Kansas City Star and the Kansas City Kansan. The Kansan was the "local" local paper, covering all things KCK: business, sports, government; you name it.

When I made the honor roll, the Kansan printed it.

When our legion baseball team won a doubleheader, the Kansan printed it.

It was a daily newspaper for almost 87 years. Think about that.

In 2008, the Kansan was cut to a twice-weekly circulation.

By January 2009, its only presence was online.

Now, a KCK native is going to try to inject new life into the publication all by himself.

Twenty-four-year-old Nick Sloan is a one-man publisher, handling copy AND sales. He just purchased the rights to the Kansan's website, which I have added to the blogroll.

I wish him the best of luck in his attempts to report on his hometown, and I encourage you to support him as well.

For more, here is a link courtesy of Plog.

Interview with Nick Sloan

Random Sports Note - Derek Jeter

2009-09-18T11:20:00.002-05:00

Derek Jeter. Yep, I hate the Yankees. Hate them. Jeter's a fine player, but I've never liked him, mostly because he’s smug, spoiled, and overrated.

(An aside—I swear I’ll lose my mind if I ever again hear how amazing his play was against Oakland in the playoffs several years ago. You know the one: he runs over to redirect the lousy off-line throw from the outfield, tossing the ball to Jorge Posada who tags an inexplicably non-sliding Jeremy Giambi. People talk as if it was the smartest, most magnificent play in history. Whatever. I did the EXACT SAME THING playing kickball in 3rd grade. Laugh if you want, but at 8 years old in the Hazel Grove gym during PE class, I ran over and deflected a poorly-thrown ball right into Randy Kussatz’ legs as he tried to score, thus retiring the side. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, or pretend I was some wunderkind athlete. What I’m saying is that while Yankee fans want to anoint Derek Jeter the messiah of baseball for his incredible smarts and instincts, a chubby 8-year-old in KCK had those same smarts and instincts.)

Anyway, did you see how much coverage they devoted to him breaking the Yankees’ career hits record? There’s a one-minute sports update on the radio, and 10 seconds of it is being used to let me know Jeter’s 6 hits away from tying the record? It’s the lead story on SportsCenter? There are people actually suggesting this makes him an MVP candidate?

It’s a franchise record. Not a major-league record. Not even an American League record.

He’s now got the 52nd most hits in major league history. BFD.

Black Clover Beerfest Lookin' Bro

2009-09-17T10:52:00.002-05:00

The Black Clover Beerfest is tomorrow night (Friday Sept. 18) at the Riot Room. It’s a celebration of beer (Avery, Great Divide, Schlafly, New Belgium) and local hip-hop. Beer tasting starts at 7, show at 10.

Headlining the show is Mac Lethal, who just unleashed this hilariously NSFW video on YouTube. Big nod to Wayward Blog…

Random Sports Note - Football

2009-09-16T08:49:00.002-05:00

-Why does every new young coach in the NFL feel compelled to act like he’s a hardass? They have to instill a “culture”, make an example of the standout players on the team, and generally just get into a pissing match every chance they get. It’s stupid.

I hear the Kevin Kietzmans of the world talk about how much they love that Chiefs coach Todd Haley is a disciplinarian and doesn’t put up with anything. Why is that impressive? Alienating your best players is a horrible way to motivate them long-term. They don’t respect the coach more because he takes their parking spots away or cusses at them all the time.

Even more annoying is that I hear the talking heads on ESPN swear up and down that every team’s woes are due to a lack of a winning culture in this clubhouse, or this other team has heart and that’s why they’re successful.

Bull.
Shit.

Teams win because they are more talented. Teams win because their coaches have figured out where there is a talent mismatch and go on to exploit it (or compensate for it).

You ever wonder why every NFL-player-turned-analyst never talks about talent?

Why the result of every game, nay, every PLAY is the result of something intangible?

Why it’s always heart and “never giving up” and “wanting it more” that win games?

Because professional athletes THINK THEY ARE BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE.

Their egos will not allow them to admit that they made it to the NFL because they were simply born with more talent, size, and athleticism. No, it had to be their superhuman drive to be the best. It had to be their work ethic and attitude. You know, something they can attribute to themselves and their own inner greatness. Seriously – listen to any one of these guys and tell me they aren’t utterly convinced of this.

Random Sports Note - Women's Tennis

2009-09-15T08:22:00.000-05:00

-The U.S. Open Women’s tennis tournament was rather interesting. First, you had the Serena meltdown:

She definitely threatened to shove an effing ball down the judge’s effing throat. For two days she avoided any display of remorse or contrition (Serena has never held herself accountable for anything). She finally apologized two days later, probably while her PR person held her at gunpoint.

More impressively, Belgium’s Kim Clijsters went on to beat Denmark’s Caroline Wozniacki in the final. Clijsters was playing in only her 3rd tournament since taking a 2-1/2 year hiatus to have a child.

Even more impressive than that? I was actually able to watch the match without hitting MUTE, thanks to a complete lack of grunting. Seriously—neither woman in the finals sounded like a buffalo being speared. It was highly refreshing to see/hear.

Event of the Decade (Redux) - Red X Wine Tasting Thursday

2009-09-14T08:34:00.003-05:00

It's that time again.
Thursday, September 17, 5-7pm.

Here is what I wrote last year to describe the Red X Wine Tasting in all its magnificent fluorescence:

My mind has officially been blown.

I have rarely experienced so many layers of fascination in one place.

Friends, I’m speaking of the Red X wine tasting EVENT.

If you’ve never witnessed the Riverside Red X, it is everything to love about America under one roof. Groceries. Cigarettes by the CASE. Every type of lottery ticket ever invented. A hardware store. A dollar store. A museum with statues of animals AND a suit of armor.

Oh - and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

That’s great, JJS, but I have a liquor store near my house.

I’m sure you do. But it doesn’t have a SUIT OF ARMOR and FUNHOUSE MIRRORS!

Point taken. But I’ve been to wine tastings before at other places, and they were kind of a drag – you know, kinda snobby.

I’m talking about the Red X, fool! There’s no place for snobbery. And what did your wine tasting have, 4 bottles to try? 8? Red X opened AT LEAST 80 different wines.

Wow. 80?

At least. And no, I did not try them all.

That SOUNDS cool, but I’m a little intimidated by the whole “wine scene”.

Your fellow tasters will include guys in NASCAR shirts and mullets asking to try the “SEER-uh”. That makes it 95% less intimidating and 9500% more glorious.

Uh…

Great! Sounds like you’re in! The next one takes place:
Thursday, September 17
5:00pm-7:00pm
Riverside Red X

Yes, it’s early, but that leaves plenty of time to go get dinner afterward at Stone Canyon Pizza (where they have, ironically, 1/2 price bottles of wine).

Let’s do this.

Apologists

2009-09-03T09:22:00.002-05:00

Are you ever forced to associate with someone, through work or otherwise, who makes your life miserable?

You know the type--people who sigh audibly, roll their eyes, and are generally indignant any time you ask them to do something (like their job)? Or maybe they say totally inappropriate things—stuff that belittles you or gives you the distinct sensation of being thrown under a bus. Perhaps he’s the guy all the women in the office avoid because he’s too hands-y.

The exact personality dysfunction doesn’t matter. The point is that you have to deal with these people because the people who have the authority to effect change don’t have the stones to do so. Plead your case to them, and you get the inevitable response (say it with me):

“Oh…that’s just Mike.”

Then Mike is a DICK. Stop allowing him to act like one.

“Yeah…Sharon takes a little getting used to.”

No, Sharon’s an ASSHOLE. She needs to be called out on it.

Stop making excuses for these people.